Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5621 of 6371
Have you ever woke up in the morning wanting to smack someone for NO apparent reason?
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09-09-2010 14:10
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brought to you today...by the neighbor's router. ;)
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09-09-2010 14:08
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Dear Bed, I love you.
Alright STOP.......pajama time! ;)
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09-09-2010 13:58
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Jogging is too much work, walking is too slow, I'm gonna take up skipping. When people see me coming down the sidewalk, I'm pretty sure they'll make an extra effort to move out of the way.
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09-09-2010 13:46
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It's a known fact that hopping on one leg after stubbing your toe helps to relieve the pain.
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09-09-2010 13:45
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If life were more like a movie, we'd all be dead after about 90 minutes.
Joined a cult today.
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09-09-2010 12:48
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Why do we say sorry even when they bumped into us? It's way funnier when people say "Excuse You" anyways.
What do you do if an elephant comes through your window? ........Swim for your life !!!.......jlm
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09-09-2010 09:30
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If I deleted people from my home page, wouldn't it just make more sense to delete them completely?
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09-09-2010 08:22
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They call me brown sugar because I'm so sweet!
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09-09-2010 07:10
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playing COD MW2 to give my brain cells something fun to do in case they're no longer around on Saturday morning after Friday nights events.
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09-09-2010 06:10 by trickz100
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Life Aint Always What It Seems To Be .. you Have Ur Ups N Downs Either Happily Or Sad But At The End Of The Day you Gotta Jus Forget Bout All That N Hope you Wake Up To Live The Next Day
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09-09-2010 06:08 by SAM
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You call it "too lazy to start something", I call it "patience"...
bit another finger trying to eat way too many french fries at once
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09-09-2010 02:01 by levon
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The political correctness has gone mad. I can't even refer to my child as "my disabled son". Apparently the correct term is "daughter"!?!?
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09-09-2010 01:41 by geez
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True Fact: Economic analysts find that the unemployment rate remains at a standstill due to Ryan Seacrest's many job acquisitions within the past several years
Needs a weekend for my weekend
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09-08-2010 23:56
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Opportunity knocked, but by the time I took off the chain, pushed back the bolt, unhooked two locks and shut off the alarm, it was too late..
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09-08-2010 22:26 by Aaron
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