Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5498 of 6371
The Eleventh Commandment : "Thou Shall Not Get Caught "
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10-21-2010 11:52
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The Name is Bond, Uni-Bond. I'm here to fill your crack!
Toyota is just not doing it anymore, I think I feel safer in a GEO now days.
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10-21-2010 11:35
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wonders if the fake Irish accents on the Irish Spring commercials can sound anymore bogus , I've met a lot of people from Ireland and NONE of hem talked like that
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10-21-2010 10:41 by Banjaxed
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Unless you're the lead dog, the view never changes.
I have to exercise early in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing.
I never believed in horoscopes until I found a magazine that accurately predicted what I was going to be doing today. Thank you, TV Guide.
Love is a piano dropped from a fourth story window, and you were in the wrong place at the wrong time.
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10-21-2010 10:18
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still has Circus Peanuts left over from Halloween 1956. Yum!
Mosquito's and women are alike, except a mosquito will stop sucking when you slap it....
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10-21-2010 10:05
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I get my energy from my inner-G
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10-21-2010 09:19
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every time I utilize paper towels regardless of the brand I always compare them to the quicker picker upper..
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10-21-2010 08:29
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Well, I got the new restraining order today. So if anyone needs a stalker I am available. I have mad stalking skills plus references.
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10-21-2010 07:48 by Damon
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Power to the people who have freedom in their focus..
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10-21-2010 06:31 by ScottMac
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trying to type correctly but lack of sleep and too much wine don't help
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10-21-2010 03:04
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use to be a dime or quarter..but now here's $50..buy a prepaid cell phone and call someone who cares
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10-21-2010 03:01
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On a scale of one to Kanye, how badly do you want to interrupt me?
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10-21-2010 00:40 by ;)
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A girls r like a mosquito: when it stops making a noise,you know it's up to something.
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10-21-2010 00:23 by BEGO
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they guy from Sister Wives just married his 4th wife. WTH is this guy thinking?!?!?
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10-20-2010 23:58
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wondering what the weather's like in India. I think i'll call AT&T.
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10-20-2010 23:51 by BEGO
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