Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   If Trump's nose grew every time he told a lie, Melania could wipe his nose for him in New York when he is sniffling in Washington.

   I’m trying to use this rotisserie to bbq an owl but he won’t stop looking at me.

   Mosquito is the Spanish word for "little Islamic house of worship."

   Be careful! Fox News reported that 30,000 people have died trying to sign up for Obamacare!

   Why do so many Americans hate people from the middle east, yet build churches to worship someone from the middle east? How stupid is that.

   happy that his Judgement Day is not Today

   "something unpredictable , but in the end its right"

   It's only October 17th and I'm already sick of seeing anything regarding black friday .. seriously people have you no respect?? its african-american friday, dammit!

   Whites fantasize about bla3ks, when they are with their bfriends. But once you go bla3k, you are a single mom :D.

   I can't believe this is the last Harry Potter movie. It's the end of an era. Who knows, maybe someone will turn it into a book.

   I wonder if Jesus knows that everyone just pretends to be his friend so they can move into his sweet cloud house.

   back in a minute, I have to take an Obama.

   Shoot 4 more and we can take the whole week off - white folks

   shot a man in Reno just to watch him die

   Me: How much for the horse tornado? Guy: Sir, that's a carousel.

   (At Costco) Hi can I just have a water bottle "Sorry sir all we have is this pack of 2,467 water bottles"

   If you can't beat them let THEM join you, THEN beat them.

   I like sleeping because it's like being dead , without the commitment...

   Any female singer not named Adele shouldn't spend a lot of time writing her Grammy acceptance speech...

   welcome to HIdDen mEssages club. please help yourself To tHE snacks By the dOor and we’ll get starteD shortlY.