love Funny Status Messages

   Fuzzy, shaved, hairy, landing strip, brazilian, I love them all..

   Do I really have to explain why I love you? Okay fine. I love you because you give good head.

   Everyone's like "I love Obama" or "I love Romney" and I'm just over here like "I love whiskey and beer"

   It's always so awkward ending phone calls with loved ones, I always say "I love you" and they're like, "thank you for choosing domino's"

   Oww a dorito just stabbed the roof of my mouth...how could something I love so much hurt me like this.

   For the love of God, ASK me, don't AXE me!

   Dear Women, We're not lying, we're trying to prevent you from killing us. Love, Men

   Love is blind. It's also drunk, has a wooden leg, Tourette's, a crippling fear of heights & if you poke it with a stick it plays dead.

   Love is like a rubberband. We keep pulling, someone lets go and the one who held on gets hurt

   Valentine's Day : Because love isn't quite complicated enough as it is....

   Love is like a glass door… Sometimes you don't see it and it smacks you right in the face.

   Sometimes I wish I could be like Jeff Probst from Survivor. I'd love to walk into a Shift Briefing at work and say,"The Tribe Has Spoken"!!! Then walk over and extinguish their torch and tell them to pack their belongings and get the @#$% out!!!

   Thank you, flowers, for being the perfect way to say, "My love for you is beautiful but will die very soon."

   whats the difference between love & a sandwich? I'm great at making a sandwich

   if you want to make me nervous, tell me that you love me.

   How I love #Monday. On a different subject. Have you ever met someone for the first time and wanted to buy them a toaster for their bathtub?

   No thanks "Love Quotes" account. I get all my love quotes from P0rnHub.

   What's the difference between love, true love, and showing off? Spit, swallow, and gargle.

   I still remember that moment I said I love you too, coz thats the exact moment my life got fuçked up!

   Can you fall in love through a rifle scope?