Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Goodnight I need to go to sleep early to be late for school tomorrow

   Man I think it is BS that certain nations have our back in war-time situations but won't help with our search for Bigfoot

   I would much rather regret something I did, then something I was too afraid to do...

   Scooby and the gang always solve mysteries in 30 minutes or less. I think I'll hire them to help me with the whole women thing. Plus Daphne is hot.

   : Every day should be 'HUMP DAY'.... but not the Wednesday kind.

   Boba Fett was an embarrassment to us all- Dog the Bounty Hunter

   There is nothing is more awkward than driving through a 'One Way' street without knowing it and you meet up with another car face to face, then have to drive half a mile in reverse.

   3/17/2011 - 3/20/11 RIP - My NCAA Tournament Bracket

   im dying to see the americans plant a C5 up Ghadafi's candy ass and light it with a matchstick and take pics and post it up on facebook and tag me to it so that I can see the pics while feasting on a bag of potato chips

   does this "no fly zone" mean I can't use the trip to Libya I purchased from my Nigerian lottery winnings?

   Waiting for them to blame "Bush" for attacking Libya...just saying

   Hey dude, I am way to high for you to be creeper staring at me right now. None-the-less trying to physically touch me... back off, eat a nacho, and just watch the movie. Sincerely, Female stoners

   considering their age and current physiques, I think Arnold Schwarzenegger VS Sylvester Stallone would be a great street fight, although Stallone has a very slight edge

   I argue with myself sometime because I know for a fact that I'll win

   Im the swaglord you have been blessed

   If Microsoft Word has taught me anything it's that if I want to get a point across, I need to use bullets.

   Tell me and I'll forget; show me and I'll rememeber; involve me and I'll understand.

   it me or is majority of your high school friends more ‘Antisocial' these days on Facebook. Like we're all strangers or something…..No? Ok its not just me.

   So today is officially the first day of Spring! Just think, only a mere 277 more days till Winter arrives again...

   Methinks someone in Washington has discovered that "Hope and Change" is a lot easier to say than it is to deliver .