Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Tried the Harlem Shuffle, Gangnam style... I may have snapped a hip.

   Take that ZULU nonsense and shove it up your ass!

   The Daytona 500 is over. And so we wait for its return much in the same manner we do all once a year occurrences...like the Flu and the April 15th tax deadline.

   George and Barbara B ush must be some proud parents. One son was President, two were Governors and one now plays for the Detroit Lions!

   "It was good but he spanked me a little too much..." - no woman ever

   If you're one of those people that talk about your "haters," odds are I hate you too..

   Nothing makes me go from zero to Hitler faster than someone touching my phone.

   Peanut butter is the cheese of the candy world

   This is from a greedy single, " Based on intelligence, people are classified into: 1- Genius 2- Smart 3- Average 4- stupid 5- Married. "

   Happy Hurricane Season!!

   my ex-girlfriend walked by me today with her new boyfriend, they both laughed, so I smiled and told him "you must be use to having seconds"

   Well that was disappointing. Not only was his name not Leonid - there were no meteors in his shower at all. I don't even think he was an astronomer.

   facebook is not a shower, keep your clothes on!

   People who like their jobs probably don't think oral sex is necessary either.

   KFC's new "Chicken's Littles" commercial claim "Little is the new big".......poorly endowed men everywhere finally feel adequate after watching

   Before you judge me,.. make sure your perfect!

   Fellaz; Kiss her like you OWN her. Chicks dig that.

   People who call you after you text them are the worst human beings since like Hitler.

   My generation should be on Survivor!! This will be the 54th "end of the world" we have endured!! The Tribe has spoken....We are badas$$!

   I dont know if yall know but umm ...its Christmas time in Hollis Queens