Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   blackparent:*spank* . DIDNT . *spank* . I. *spank* . TELL *spank* YOU *spank* TO *spank* . CLEAN . *spank* . UP ? MOVE YA HAND ! *spank*!

   My pen!s ejects bronzer if any of you ladies need a spray tan

   Hey Obama, I could really use that "change" right now! I'm at the gas pump and could really use some extra quarters!!

   Obozo is no longer President. President TRUMP

   wondering if Michael Jackson's Heart was telling the Defibrillator to just Beat It?

   What’s the difference between a rabbi and a priest? A rabbi cuts them off and a priest sucks them off.

   thinks Ty Pennington and Extreme Makeover Home Edition has a couple years worth of shows in Haiti

   Sure hope someone in the stands knows how to do the Heimlich maneuver today in Dallas because there are going to be a lot of Cowboys choking

   A guy that's inbred and makes a living helping people trick ducks into landing for sex, is going to tell his opinion about wrong sex... Shove that down your throats!

   not your daddy

   Our toes look nothing like that – Camels

   I don't take responsibility for how I handled the Coronavirus situation. Instead, I'll blame it all on Obama.

   If you're wondering why the COVID-19 rate is do low in Germany and high in the USA, it's because Germany's president used to be a quantum chemist and the USA's president used to be a reality television host.

   A lot of sports teams are called 'The Devils'... if I had a sports team I would call it 'The Jesus Christ Almighties'

   Patroits must have been in charge of the commercials this year, cuz THEY SUCKED!

   According to Catholics beliefs, when a Pope dies, he has to perform two miracles from the grave so that he can be considered a SAINT. And you say religion is not DUMB.

   I would love to see things your way, but I'm not sure if I can stick my head that far up my butt.

   The other day Pope Benedict named five new saints to the Catholic Church. Some, however, are questioning whether Obama deserved it.

   Does anyone else think that all illegal immigrants should be given a Toyota to drive back across the border?? ;)

   making a sex tape and shooting up heroin with Miley Cyrus