Tjshome.com
Funny Status Messages
Submit Status
TJ's Blog
Image Filters
Contact US
Submit a Status Message
Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Sort:
Recent
|
Oldest
|
Rating
Search Messages:
«Prev
«1
4987
4988
4989
4990
4991
4992
4993
4994
Next»
Most Recent
Page: 4991 of 6369
I found handcuffs in one of my sister's drawers. Why would she not tell me she's a cop?
10
15
←Rate |
04-26-2013 09:02
Comments (
0
)
A Gary Busey can lose up to 30 000 teeth in its lifetime.
10
15
←Rate |
05-01-2013 22:16 by
snotty
Comments (
0
)
"I want you to come inside me." - Buildings
10
15
←Rate |
06-07-2013 20:45 by
hiyourjon
Comments (
0
)
and today a container ship will depart for some third world country, loaded with Boston Bruins Stanley Cup Champions gear
10
15
←Rate |
06-25-2013 10:25
Comments (
0
)
Screw milkshakes, vodka and weed are the reason why I am in your yard.
10
15
←Rate |
09-22-2012 13:27
Comments (
0
)
My wife does this cute thing where she sprays a mist of perfume in the air and runs through it and gets tripped by my foot and reports DV.
10
15
←Rate |
09-23-2012 14:59
Comments (
0
)
Tonight I'll be teaching a poetry class for prison inmates called "Prose & Cons".
10
15
←Rate |
10-03-2012 08:02 by
SEAN
Comments (
0
)
Shall I compare thee to a Summer's Eve?
10
15
←Rate |
07-19-2012 09:25 by
snotty
Comments (
0
)
My blonde girlfriend has such a useless sense of direction, I'm amazed she made it out of the birth canal.
10
15
←Rate |
07-20-2012 17:15 by
Marshall the Great
Comments (
0
)
When I married miss right, I didn't know her name would change to Mrs Always Right.
10
15
←Rate |
08-31-2012 17:53 by
Black ice
Comments (
0
)
it a bad thing when your only form of social interaction is when the dryer buzzer goes off? Asking for a friend..
10
15
←Rate |
02-22-2021 09:16
Comments (
0
)
As Facebook's rebranded itself as 'META', other entities will be following suit: Airlines: JETA Greece: FETA Prostitution: GETA Gambling: BETA Urologists: WETA Fisheries: NETA Animal Clinics: VETA Boob Jobs: TETA
10
15
←Rate |
10-29-2021 09:40 by
Fazzy
Comments (
0
)
Being clean and sober means I've showered and I'm heading to the liquor store.
10
15
←Rate |
12-22-2021 09:00
Comments (
0
)
Who knew that you get sex with a porn star on layaway
10
15
←Rate |
05-03-2018 13:57
Comments (
0
)
BREAKING: Mike Flynn's microwave just offered to testify in exchange for immunity.
10
15
←Rate |
04-01-2017 16:19
Comments (
0
)
I would like to wish president Obama happy vetera.....oh wait. My bad.
10
15
←Rate |
11-11-2016 20:46
Comments (
0
)
I can't stand all these 'Stand with Standing Rock' Facebook post anymore
10
15
←Rate |
12-03-2016 13:05
Comments (
0
)
In other news, Buckwheat (of Little Rascals fame) has converted to Islam. His new name is Kareem of Wheat.
10
15
←Rate |
01-27-2017 07:08
Comments (
1
)
Every knows a person that acts like a loser even when they win. Well
10
15
←Rate |
03-05-2017 10:03
Comments (
0
)
Careful Ivanka. The boss in your new office is very handsy with attractive young women.
10
15
←Rate |
03-21-2017 16:42
Comments (
0
)
«Prev
«1
4987
4988
4989
4990
4991
4992
4993
4994
Next»
Most Recent
Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:
X says
X is
X was
X has
X
...
characters left
Read the Rules
Site Links
Home
Funny Status Messages
Status Message Generator
TJ's Blog
About Tjshome
Contact Us
Privacy
© 1999 - 2021 Tjshome.com