Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 4986 of 6369
Men wanted to work in dynamite factory. Must be willing to travel.
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03-06-2012 15:11
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Spring is finally here! Spring Cleaning or Spring Break partying.. the choice is pretty obvious. These shelves aren't going to dust themselves!
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03-20-2012 11:41 by mutibabe
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Clearly, they've run out of reality show ideas, just like hollywood..really? The Three Stooges?
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03-21-2012 11:05
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Jehovah's Witnesses? Please, come on in. Yes, I would LOVE to listen, but first let's talk about MY religion. Let me get the blowtorch.
Someone really, really needs to tell Gramma this planking thing was just a fad.
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03-26-2012 00:25
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I'm at the stage in my life where I answer the door for deliveries in boxers b/c nothing matters anymore.
Well Skittles Stock just took a plunge, again!!
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03-28-2012 17:29 by jitney
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George Zimmerman has become the new Waldo.
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04-11-2012 12:05 by bfinest
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My favorite post of yours is........ the one I hitch you to at night.
I remember whe a bathroom mirror was for brushing your teeth and picking zits , now it's for "duck" shots !!! Technology is awesome !!!
I Drink therefore I'm Hungover
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11-20-2011 04:26
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When I told her she had the "Body of a Lane Bryant model", I meant it in a good way!
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11-23-2011 09:17 by zman87
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Is it a zit or is it a 3rd nipple growing on my face. This is one of those wait & see moments people.
I'd imagine that hitting the showers had a whole new meaning for the Penn State football team.
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12-14-2011 01:32
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in a relationship with alchohol....fks me every time..
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12-14-2011 10:31
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You need motivation to START something, then to keep at it you need DISCIPLINE. You think you have these? Then move your ass.
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06-08-2012 01:03
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Ribbery looks like he was involved in a armed robbery!
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06-11-2012 14:47
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If you cant live without me, then why aren't you dead yet?
Rob Schneider looks like the type of guy that tries to jerk off on his own face.
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06-17-2012 12:06
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You summoned the Piss Wizard! Urine trouble now
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06-17-2012 18:20
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