Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 4945 of 6370
Honestly can people quit falling for these Facebook scams and virus's all this 'view her commit suicide' or links to other random crap like 'view whos seen ur profile' - just dont click on it! Their all bugs so avoid at all costs! Dont let curiosity kill
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04-26-2011 16:43
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I didn't say your stupid just everything you like is
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04-26-2011 15:43 by Mahdi H
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Simon Cowell and Paula Abdul are hosting a singing competition on Fox! Who comes up with these radical new ideas?
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04-26-2011 15:39
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work me harder, makes me better, do me faster makes me stronger.
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04-26-2011 15:34 by chelsea
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Lieutenant Dan, ice cream.
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04-26-2011 15:26
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When Johnny Walker does his taxes, he puts me as a dependant...
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04-26-2011 15:16 by Pichota
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My new hobby is Ice Sculpting... yesterday I made a cube
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04-26-2011 15:10 by XBbios
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If my death is as extraordinary as my life... then I should go quietly in my sleep.
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04-26-2011 14:44 by J. BIAZA
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has been considering a lobotomy... it seems like a no-brainer.
I must be allergic to peanuts. I break into a rash every payday.
I only came here to do two things, kick some ass and drink some beer. Looks like we're almost outta beer.
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04-26-2011 13:30
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"Wow, this place is so clean! I could literally eat off the floor!" - my dog at every place she's ever been.
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04-26-2011 13:17 by Seddy90
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"Have a nice day".. "Dont tell me what to do"
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04-26-2011 13:15
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i hate when I wake up in the morning and Barack Obama is my president
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04-26-2011 13:03
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looking forward to showering with his brand-new "William-and-Kate-Royal-Wedding-Marketing-Hype-Souvenir-Soap-on-a-Rope".
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04-26-2011 12:50
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What you call hoarding, I call forgetting to take out the garbage for 278 consecutive weeks.
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04-26-2011 12:27 by Seddy90
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People who brag they have haters are doing their so called haters a favor by making you look more of a douchebag than you already are.
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04-26-2011 12:26 by H82R
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Dear man at the gas station, I admire how your mustache begins with your nose hairs.
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04-26-2011 12:16 by Phire
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If, at any point, you stopped for Hammer Time, I think it is now safe to restart.
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04-26-2011 12:03
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what is the difference between acne and a catholic priest? Acne usually comes on a boys face after he turns 12
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04-26-2011 11:49
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