Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon My R&B playlist is dangerous. It almost guarantees pregnancy
←Rate | 05-11-2018 10:23 by MarshalltheGreat Comments (0)  


   messageicon The definition of surprise: a fart with a lump in it.
←Rate | 07-04-2018 16:26 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Someone gave me a free pen without their knowledge today. Well, I took a pen.
←Rate | 07-13-2018 21:47 Comments (0)  


   messageicon So I asked her “what is that alluring perfume you’re wearing “ and she says “OFF Mosquito repellent “ Gets me every time!
←Rate | 07-14-2018 22:18 by Cicci Comments (0)  


   messageicon What business makes money by driving their customers away........ A taxi.
←Rate | 07-31-2018 14:57 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Guys, you'll really never know your woman untill you are married to her.
←Rate | 08-09-2018 15:08 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon If change is good, exact change is even better.
←Rate | 11-09-2018 11:30 by Frank Comments (0)  


   messageicon Turns out the Canary Islands doesn't have any canaries. Just like the Virgin Islands doesn't have any.
←Rate | 12-03-2018 01:56 Comments (1)  


   messageicon In the future Frosty the puddle, will take the place of Frosty the snowman,
←Rate | 12-16-2018 06:20 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The last place to celebrate the New Year's eve celebration is the tiny north pacific Island Midway Atoll with the population of about 60.
←Rate | 12-31-2018 23:45 Comments (2)  


   messageicon My New Years resolution is to be more active. Sexually.
←Rate | 01-02-2019 09:40 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My mother never saw the iorny in calling me a s.o.b.
←Rate | 01-03-2019 02:48 by Joker Comments (0)  


   messageicon Technology has improved men's sex lives over the last 20 years! The pages of Porn-tube don't get stuck together!
←Rate | 01-31-2019 14:43 by Truman Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why do people get angry when you say F you, or give them the finger ? But not when you say srrew you or up yours ? Don't they all mean the same thing ?
←Rate | 02-05-2019 16:40 by Just.asking Comments (0)  


   messageicon Kentucky man catches 20lb goldfish. Bet that willbe hard to flush down the toilet.
←Rate | 02-15-2019 22:15 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Samsung devices can now run 3 apps simultaneously while you can't even hover past incoming calls on the iPhone😩
←Rate | 02-21-2019 14:49 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Had an absolutely amazing dream last night I feel could change mine and quite possibly millions of other people's lifes forever! if I could just remember what it was about?
←Rate | 02-24-2019 10:26 Comments (0)  


   messageicon It’s like no one is talking about how Game of Thrones fans are due for a world of hurt very soon
←Rate | 04-06-2019 10:26 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Okay, time to be productive!....or in other words log out of facebook. Which by the way is the secret to my success.
←Rate | 04-15-2019 22:12 by Moon Comments (0)  


   messageicon Happy Revenge of the Sixth, everyone!
←Rate | 05-06-2019 17:42 Comments (0)  




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