Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 4944 of 6446

My R&B playlist is dangerous. It almost guarantees pregnancy

The definition of surprise: a fart with a lump in it.
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07-04-2018 16:26 by Jake
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Someone gave me a free pen without their knowledge today. Well, I took a pen.
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07-13-2018 21:47
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So I asked her “what is that alluring perfume you’re wearing “ and she says “OFF Mosquito repellent “ Gets me every time!
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07-14-2018 22:18 by Cicci
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What business makes money by driving their customers away........ A taxi.
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07-31-2018 14:57 by Jake
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Guys, you'll really never know your woman untill you are married to her.
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08-09-2018 15:08 by Jake
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If change is good, exact change is even better.
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11-09-2018 11:30 by Frank
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Turns out the Canary Islands doesn't have any canaries. Just like the Virgin Islands doesn't have any.
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12-03-2018 01:56
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In the future Frosty the puddle, will take the place of Frosty the snowman,
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12-16-2018 06:20
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The last place to celebrate the New Year's eve celebration is the tiny north pacific Island Midway Atoll with the population of about 60.
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12-31-2018 23:45
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My New Years resolution is to be more active. Sexually.

My mother never saw the iorny in calling me a s.o.b.
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01-03-2019 02:48 by Joker
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Technology has improved men's sex lives over the last 20 years!
The pages of Porn-tube don't get stuck together!
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01-31-2019 14:43 by Truman
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Why do people get angry when you say F you, or give them the finger ? But not when you say srrew you or up yours ? Don't they all mean the same thing ?

Kentucky man catches 20lb goldfish. Bet that willbe hard to flush down the toilet.
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02-15-2019 22:15
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Samsung devices can now run 3 apps simultaneously while you can't even hover past incoming calls on the iPhone😩
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02-21-2019 14:49
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Had an absolutely amazing dream last night I feel could change mine and quite possibly millions of other people's lifes forever! if I could just remember what it was about?
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02-24-2019 10:26
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It’s like no one is talking about how Game of Thrones fans are due for a world of hurt very soon
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04-06-2019 10:26
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Okay, time to be productive!....or in other words log out of facebook. Which by the way is the secret to my success.
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04-15-2019 22:12 by Moon
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Happy Revenge of the Sixth, everyone!
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05-06-2019 17:42
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