Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 4932 of 6369
Hey Obama, I could use that change now. I am doing laundry and could use the quaters.
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01-21-2011 23:16
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When OIL prices were high it was all "Obama's fault" according to Republicans. Now that they are low it is the market.
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12-09-2014 00:01
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Blasphemy - the idea there's a superior being who can make the mountains, the oceans and the skies, but who still gets upset about something I said. He's an all-powerful being; he's just got self-esteem issues.
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11-22-2009 17:15
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After Palin's speech today, we need a rally for Restoring Grammar.
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08-29-2010 18:40
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One of the greatest moments of progress in world peace and democracy was tearing down the Berlin Wall. Only a true psychopath would think building a giant wall is a progressive step in our world.
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09-03-2016 12:31
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During Obama's appearance on Mythbusters, Glenn Beck will debut his new Fox News show, Mythspreaders.
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10-20-2010 10:50 by jdpower
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get's the feeling that whenever Sarah Palin sees a Pro-Sarah bumper sticker, she rolls down the window, goes "WHOOP, WHOOP, WHOOP!!!!" and generally makes a fool of herself.
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05-05-2010 14:33
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troubled by the thought of being not able to write a sensible status message
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01-10-2009 08:21
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if you read the Bible backwards Jesus is crucified, develops a large following, and then a lot of horrible things happen to people. Oh wait that happened after the bible too...
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05-09-2013 10:36
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We buried our grandad with his exercise bike – he’s spinning in his grave.
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12-11-2023 11:23
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Law of Karma operates for nations as much as it does for individuals. Look at the devastation caused by floods in Pakistan. Divine punishment ?
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08-21-2010 13:02
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"Oh, you smoke cigarettes? Don't bother, I'll take myself to the friendzone."
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07-19-2015 10:07 by Rollen
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Today I saw a baby with a bib that said “This dumbass put my cape on backwards"
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09-08-2011 16:14 by JB
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Republican convention next week.... Hurricane Isaac is predicted to hit Florida next week.... Even Mother Nature doesn't like Republicans.
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08-22-2012 07:27 by K-Mac
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They tried to send Amy Winehouse to the coroner but she said no, no, no. Just kidding, she's dead and didn't say anything.
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07-24-2011 06:06 by flinnie
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Just found out my GF is pregnant. 50 likes and we keep it.
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09-20-2012 23:56
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Thank God I'm an Atheist.
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06-17-2012 19:19 by bfinest
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I love to run my finger up the outline of a womans camel toe.
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01-23-2012 12:17
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nobody. NOBODY is perfect. Therefore X is perfect.
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01-25-2009 04:54 by Kels!e
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Clinton ruined a dress Obama ruined a nation!