Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   menstruation.menopause.mental breakdowns...ever notice how all womens problems begin with men?

   hoping Marge Simpson poses for Hustler next.

   How overweight do I have to be to apply for the American citizenship?

   I went for a job interview yesterday and the boss asked me: Why did you leave your last job?? I said: The company relocated and didn't tell me where.

   Netanyahu's wife needs to give Michelle Obama a tee shirt that reads, "Don't you wish your husband could be a man like mine?"

   I got 47Traitors =GOP but a democrat ain't one!

   I have a friend whose status says "suicidal standing on edge of cliff'.... I poked him.

   Corvettes. Helping poor men pretend they have big dongs since 1953...

   The KANYE went down to the very KANYE street to buy a new KANYE for only $KANYE dollars. “KANYE?” he asked..... Kanye West doing a Mad Lib

   When the rich robs the poor, it's called business. When the poor fight back, it's called violence !

   Learn to spell... Auto Correct isn't always write...

   sent ten different puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.

   Just joined a new group...DAMM: Drunks Against Mad Mothers

   I wanted a good suit for a job interview. The missus said"Why don't you borrow the suit your dad wore at the funeral last week?" It really was a good suit, so I grabbed a shovel,headed for the graveyard and........

   Happy " My you natives have some nice land...allow us to bring you diseases and steal it all from you" Day.........

   I say that anyone who messes with America, is gonna get a good dose of Red, White, Black and Blue!

   at the book store I saw a book titiled "LEGACY FOR ALL" a record of Achievements by Black American Scientists..... not surprised that the book was only 27 pages thick.

   How does a black chick tell if she's pregnant? When she pulls the tampon out, all the cotton is already picked.

   A LION NEVER LOOSES SLEEP OVER THE OPINIONS OF THE SHEEP.

   Cruises: Like being on house arrest with midnight buffets.