Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 4924 of 6446

The only thing that should be seperated by color is laundry♥
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07-24-2012 18:09
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You never forget the first time you learned what a PROLAPSE is. Damn you, Google images.
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08-13-2012 15:06
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I just drank some food color, now I think I'm dyeing inside.
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04-03-2013 01:40 by Zinc
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What does a 90 year old virgin's pussa taste like,,,,,Depends
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01-30-2013 10:02 by MWC
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I can tell within 19 seconds of meeting you if our sex is going to be consensual or not..
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10-14-2012 15:23 by Baddie
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...... Congrats to Mr Baumgartner for breaking the sound barrier!!!! He's very lucky that the records were the only things that were broken!!!!
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10-14-2012 16:41
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My new girlfriend is a cagefighter. They all are, for the first day or two.
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10-16-2012 18:18
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Yo mama is so fat even her pictures are heavy.
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10-08-2011 14:30
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Men: 99% of the women you will meet take antidepressants. Just accept the fact.
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07-08-2011 07:08
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I knew someone would have to do it but I didn't know it would be someone so famous! Amy Winehouse had to take her own life just so people on fbook would talk about something other than the weather! You all are to blame for this!!
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07-23-2011 13:41 by DooDoo
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True fact of the day: On March 13, 1781 Uranus was discovered ........ ha ha Uranus
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02-14-2011 16:02
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I like my men, like I like my coffee. Ground up and in the freezer.

125 shot of nitrous is like a hot chick with STD's.... You know you wanna hit it but your afraid of the consequences!
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03-18-2011 07:30 by Lozo
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Girl scout cookies just came, no time for Facebook!
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04-06-2011 16:09 by jgmitts
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I like how Facebook tells me I found these friends using their friend finder. um no I found these friends before I had hair on my balls back when I could have been rich had I thought of Facebook
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06-08-2011 22:31 by ptv
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“When it Absowutewy, Positivewy has to be thewe ovewnight." ~ FuddEx

Today I realised that I am spending too much time chatting... someone told me a really funny joke... and I almost said LOL instead of laughing!
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06-25-2011 14:26
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Happy first Sunday following the full moon that occurs on or following the Vernal Equinox!
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04-24-2011 14:25 by Hot Tea
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USA has confirmed the death of Osama Bin Laden. See what they're capable of when the Playstation Network is down?!
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05-02-2011 16:23
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If my bosses don't come through soon with an iPhone, iPod, iTouch, and iPad to elevate my job-based technology access, then I'll be giving them a spanking new iQuit.
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08-09-2011 22:43
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