Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon The only thing that should be seperated by color is laundry♥
←Rate | 07-24-2012 18:09 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You never forget the first time you learned what a PROLAPSE is. Damn you, Google images.
←Rate | 08-13-2012 15:06 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just drank some food color, now I think I'm dyeing inside.
←Rate | 04-03-2013 01:40 by Zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon What does a 90 year old virgin's pussa taste like,,,,,Depends
←Rate | 01-30-2013 10:02 by MWC Comments (0)  


   messageicon I can tell within 19 seconds of meeting you if our sex is going to be consensual or not..
←Rate | 10-14-2012 15:23 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon ...... Congrats to Mr Baumgartner for breaking the sound barrier!!!! He's very lucky that the records were the only things that were broken!!!!
←Rate | 10-14-2012 16:41 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My new girlfriend is a cagefighter. They all are, for the first day or two.
←Rate | 10-16-2012 18:18 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Yo mama is so fat even her pictures are heavy.
←Rate | 10-08-2011 14:30 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Men: 99% of the women you will meet take antidepressants. Just accept the fact.
←Rate | 07-08-2011 07:08 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I knew someone would have to do it but I didn't know it would be someone so famous! Amy Winehouse had to take her own life just so people on fbook would talk about something other than the weather! You all are to blame for this!!
←Rate | 07-23-2011 13:41 by DooDoo Comments (0)  


   messageicon True fact of the day: On March 13, 1781 Uranus was discovered ........ ha ha Uranus
←Rate | 02-14-2011 16:02 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I like my men, like I like my coffee. Ground up and in the freezer.
←Rate | 03-15-2011 12:58 by Elvira Munster Comments (0)  


   messageicon 125 shot of nitrous is like a hot chick with STD's.... You know you wanna hit it but your afraid of the consequences!
←Rate | 03-18-2011 07:30 by Lozo Comments (0)  


   messageicon Girl scout cookies just came, no time for Facebook!
←Rate | 04-06-2011 16:09 by jgmitts Comments (0)  


   messageicon I like how Facebook tells me I found these friends using their friend finder. um no I found these friends before I had hair on my balls back when I could have been rich had I thought of Facebook
←Rate | 06-08-2011 22:31 by ptv Comments (0)  


   messageicon “When it Absowutewy, Positivewy has to be thewe ovewnight." ~ FuddEx
←Rate | 06-10-2011 22:19 by @The69Sheriff Comments (0)  


   messageicon Today I realised that I am spending too much time chatting... someone told me a really funny joke... and I almost said LOL instead of laughing!
←Rate | 06-25-2011 14:26 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Happy first Sunday following the full moon that occurs on or following the Vernal Equinox!
←Rate | 04-24-2011 14:25 by Hot Tea Comments (0)  


   messageicon USA has confirmed the death of Osama Bin Laden. See what they're capable of when the Playstation Network is down?!
←Rate | 05-02-2011 16:23 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If my bosses don't come through soon with an iPhone, iPod, iTouch, and iPad to elevate my job-based technology access, then I'll be giving them a spanking new iQuit.
←Rate | 08-09-2011 22:43 Comments (0)  




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