Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Why do all Queers talk like that? I mean all the Lesbians don't talk like a man... I don't get it. They must have something stuck in their mouth.

   Anyone ever notice the pro abortion crowd looks like they never "get any" in the first place?

   Men who are single, are single by choice. Women who are single, are single because they're b@t $hit cr@zy.

   Dude is that Matchbox 20? Turn that up. Said no one ever.

   not scared of heights.... just widths!!!!

   making friends and influencing people

   Bob the builder! can we fix it?!!......no this time we're screwed

   What does Barbara Bush and Charlie Sheen have in common? They both like to blow a little dope.

   Gangnam Style: Dancing like an overweight Ch!nk getting b0ned up the a$$ by a sumo wrestler while wearing handcuffs that were put on by a ret@rded cop.

   Fact Checkers didn’t exist until the truth started getting out.

   Obama Nation sounds like Abomination coincidence hmmmmm……

   While speaking at an African leadership summit yesterday, Sleepy Joe accidentally referred to Africa as a country instead of a continent. To be fair, most of what he knows about Africa is based on “The Lion King.”

   Wonder if Donald is going to borrow money from Vladimir Putin to pay for Trump University lawsuit.

   Kim Jong Un has made millions of Americans look up the word dotard. So far, he's done way more education than Betsy DeVos.

   Covid spelled backwards is divoc... As in where divoc is my beer?

   Farting under the covers is no longer called a dutch oven. It’s now a "covid test". If you can still smell or taste it, you're negative.

   Wear a sombrero to the next wedding you’re invited too. Long after they’re divorced they’ll talk about the guy in the sombrero.

   For animals with an "amazing sense of smell" dogs sure do sniff piles of turds for a long time before realizing "Whoops, these are turds"

   Trump tells GOP lawmakers they need to respect the wishes of the people that got them elected. I think he means the Kremlin.

   Trump is spending the entire day today fishing. For compliments.