Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Search Messages:
Just had the misfortune of watching some of MTV's "reality" shows...I'll take "Why the Mayan's decided to end it in 2012" for $1000.00 Alex.... 
I wish I could make it illegal for anyone to wake up before 6am.
Tip: Don't blow your nose in a well used public restroom...sometimes being stuffed up is a good thing....unless you like the sensation of being punched in the face with a sack full of a**holes...
I feel like I've been watching Jersey Shore (The Facebook edition) for three days Now! B1tchin about every lil thing is like a rockin chair, It gives you something to do, but it doesn't get you any where.
eating a couch cushion and just found out I'm Oprah's long lost sister!
catching flies and turning them into crawls
anything not related to elephant is IRRelephant
Q: Are you tired of this sillyass Q & A game everyone is doing? A: Yes I wish that they would $hit and fall back in it.
If all those psychics know the winning lottery numbers,why are they still working??
I've just been given a six month suspension from football. I caught an opponent with a tackle and broke both his legs... I admit the tackle was a bit late, he was getting into his car at the time.
X says Karma is like 69.....you get what you give....:)
Really needs a nap, I guess I will pop "Eat, Pray, Love" back in the blu-ray, should be out in seconds!
making home made dynamite is so much fun
finds it quite ironic how "Lame-O" is ironically probalby the lamest insult ever invented.
''Viva La Rasa''..what the hell have I just said!
whats the main difference between a vacuum cleaner and a harley davidson? The position of the dirtbag
If I was a pirate, instead of having a stupid hook for one hand, I'd upgrade to some cooler attachments, like a blender, maybe a small cannon, some hedge trimmers etc.
law of averages:The average woman would rather have beauty than brains because the average man can see better than he can think.
hideing from "knuckles" the bookie, damn you Sugar Shane!
not illiterate...my parents were married! 