Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Search Messages:
I bet George Wendt's web browser has a lot of open tabs. 
Did you hear about the new Emo/Action film? They just cut to the chase scene.
Attack life,... it's gonna kill you anyway.!!!
i know you have an open mind..... I can see what's in ur head...nothing
a light eater . As soon as it is light he starts eating.
Samsung infuse 4G AT&T comercial, with The Lady SCREAMING and the guy Beating the phone with his shoe... Please Hit yourself in the head with a hammer. Thank you
finally its Jail for Whitey Bulger, brings a new meaning to tighty Whitey
Down with OPD (Other People's Drama)
Porn does nothing to me but cause hard feelings anymore
Many years ago, I was kicked out of the Beastie Boys for suggesting that partying was more of a privilege than a right.
That weird moment when you're talking in class, then your friend stops talking & you see that your teacher is looking right at u
The doctor told me I was borderline diabetic. So I told the doctor, 'What are you getting racial for? Why do you got to say 'borderline,''cause I'm Mexican? Can't you say 'almost'?'
Met someone today at the dentist with only a dollar to their name all they could afford was buck teeth
So... I noticed this tough guy on the bus wearing the same Pantera t-shirt for three straight days. Today he was wearing a Slayer shirt... Thank God for laundry day!
When I think of a good status in the shower, I run out dripping & naked and post it before the internet ends and it's too late.
MTV Cribs is a nice reminder that we all act like complete idiots when we come into money.
women dont trust women, why should i???
I'm playing the F YOU song in your presence for a reason. Subliminal message delivered.
life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass... it's about learning to dance in the rain, and then get struck by the light
can't afford these gas prices anymore..... I'm charging up Leroy's Buzz Lightyear car and leaving for work 4 hours early tonight. 