Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 4716 of 6370
I wanted to put my hair in a bun,, but the hairdresser was all out of sourdough... (giant cane trys to pull me off stage,, but I backflip over it)
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09-16-2012 07:51 by snotty
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**News Flash** The real NFL refs will be back on the field tonight for the Browns/Ravens game. In other news, Footlocker hired a bunch of people and are now fully staffed again.
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09-27-2012 18:40 by Brian
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Fellaz; Stop whining about being friend zoned. I'm sure it's an upgrade from the usual “Never in a million year”, “Not if you were the last man on earth” or “leave me the hell alone”. At least you are not in the dead zone.
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10-10-2012 11:56
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Taylor Swift waved at a boy the other day but he didn't wave back.. So she's bringing a new album
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10-12-2012 13:08
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ahhhhh....the muscle relaxers are finally kicking in.....they work SO much better when you take them with a half bottle of vodka. Wonder why it doesn't recommend that on the prescr
Ladies, if he's wearing a hat in every picture; guess what's under that hat. Yep, nothing…
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10-14-2012 10:48
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No horror movie will ever scare me as much as Courage The Cowardly Dog scared me.
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10-21-2012 08:10
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If anyone wonders what a difference a year can make in someone's life....allow me to explain......if someone had told me a year ago....that Lance Armstrong and I would have the same number of Tour de France wins....I would have argued with them....but now
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03-25-2013 13:50
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Fellas; I don't think you realize how much your ability to kiss affects your chance of any future action.
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04-23-2013 02:54
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She told me she was a vegan so I pretended I never met herbivore.
Lil wayne looks like a monkey that went into a Tattoo parlor ate the folders of pictures of tattoos and then shat ir out
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05-25-2013 03:03
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There is a name for people without beards.... Women!
If on Father's day you don't post a picture of your dad carrying you as a baby, I'm not sure you really "love" him.
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06-18-2013 12:20
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Our breakup was due to religious differences. She didn't think I was God.
"By leaving your bed, your chances of dying increases by 99%. It's science; " specially when you stalk people.
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07-30-2013 16:59
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I hate the Discovery Channel. I just wasted a bunch of money on 90 ton test fly line.
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08-08-2013 20:14
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Women are as horny as men; they just hide their b0ners better.
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04-23-2012 14:30 by Czovczov
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If breakups never existed, the music industry would go BANKRUPT.
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04-25-2012 21:20 by BEGO
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the circus is in town!!! oh wait, nah, its jus walmart
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05-02-2012 00:35
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No better way to kick off a Monday then to defend a sweet elderly women from a crabby ass "Douchebag", who clearu has no respect for the humankind!!!
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02-06-2012 08:03
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