Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   ...all this talk about eating disorders is making me hungry

   Why are people always trying to get into shape?? Round is a shape!

   iWon't make any lame Steve Jobs jokes

   more proof that hot chicks can get away with murder

   so many potential future ex girlfirends, so little time.

   just a thought... practice what you preach!!!

   Fool people into thinking you actually go outside by updating your Facebook status via your mobile phone

   Will you be my future ex girlfriend?

   new drinking game: everytime Charlie Sheen says something in an interview, you take a shot....5 minutes into an hour interview and I was drunk. :/

   World Cup 2010 Winner is Arge███████ loading 73%

   thinks the city of Cleveland should be more concerned about other things besides losing Lebron James. Things like...uh CRIME!

   I caught myself updating my Facebook status in my sleep & I think I actually would've posted it if the rumble strips on the highway didn't wake me up first.

   Do ducks play "me, me, goose"?

   I hope the trend of businesses placing hand sanitizers everywhere soon extends to ATMs.Imagine what germs the slobs who use my ATM are carrying,considering they can't even bother to either take their receipts or throw them in a garbage can 6 inches away

   Its hot as hades outside, some people call it hell, I call it hades..ummmmhhhhhh

   Classified Ad: Looking for a new Stadium and a new Quarterback.

   The Co-op ran of out of milk again because of the bad weather. Thankfully Doreen, my 92 yr old neighbour, has loads of it piled up at her front door.

   what if she has a boyfriend.. Soccer has a goaly too ;)

   it sad that I'm more excited for jersey shore tonight, then I was when the ball was dropping on new years eve???

   knows the world cannot end in 2012, because my GNC protein bars expire in 02/2013