Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Hey, did you know that Bruce...."He goes by Caitlyn now."... Ugh,,, fine. Did you know that Caitlyn Wayne is Batman?

   to Santa, "My Mommy doesn't belive in you! Santa to kid, "Tell mommy to stop believing Obama!"

   Ladies, why does it take you so long to get ready? Is it that hard to put on a fu?king apron?

   If I ever become a teacher.. I'm stapling McDonalds application.. To every failed test..

   Casey Anthony wants to be out of jail by Halloween, so she can dress up as a woman who didn't kill her baby

   You know it was a rough night when your IPhone doesn't recognize you in the morning.

   Instead of RIP, do Hindus put BRB on their gravestones?

   more frustrated than a legless Ethiopian watchin' a donut roll down a hill..

   can't wait to hear President Obama's State of the Union speech tonight...sleeping pills haven't been working!

   I wish I could be gay just to piss off the haters

   I would rather trust a woman's instinct than a man's reason.

   Guys and their smartphones have it made now. Back In the day the only way we could prove we got some was to let our friends smell our finger!!

   Trump is the Kanye West of white folks.

   Donald Trump Claims Ignorance of KKK, David Duke, While Obama Was Essentially Forced to Denounce Farrakhan — Why the Double Standard?

   Anyone else noticing a pattern of flies being attracted to Obama?

   well Obama just signed the Health Care Bill... I'm making sandwiches and moving into a storm cellar.

   I was watching a movie with my son last night when a sex scene came on. "Alright Mathew, it's about time you went to bed," I said. "But Dad, I'm 18," he protested. "I don't care," I said. "You're not watching me wank."

   Make America Great Again! Deport Trump...

   glad to see Obama giving Bush some recognition. He named the faultline under Haiti, "Bush's Fault."

   God I hate T-Party