Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
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My wife thinks I’m crazy. But I’m not the one who married me. 
"STOP LAUGHING AT US!" - Americans to the rest of the world
Trump, Conway and Spicer have now been joined in the "Shameless Joke with No Credibility" parade by Mr. Nunes. Is there room for four stooges?
Everyone is afraid for their lives, but I guess only cops can use it as a defense.
If the White House really wants to close Guantanamo Bay, why not just appoint Donald Trump its new CEO?
Scott Baio speaks at the GOP convention on Monday and the creator of Happy Days dies on Tuesday. Coincidence? I think not.
Don't worry about Trump, his supporters will still vote for him if he killed a baby in broad daylight with witnesses watching. So what The Donald loves to grope women?!?!
I nominate everyone for the vodka bucket challenge.
"Christmas" Trees $5.00 per ft...."Holiday" Trees $20 per ft......Merry Christmas!
All those exercise videos are worthless, I bought and watch them over and over and not lost one lb
Do you ever think that if it weren't for someone smoking Marijuana they might of killed you already. . .
Yes, Peyton..... Choking is cover under the obamacare! -Mr President
i'm a Maths terro$$ist with close ties to Algebra,i have weapons of math instruction.
"You want proof that baseball players are smarter than football players? How often do you see a baseball team penalized for too many men on the field?" ~Jim Bouton
Why do people always make jokes insinuating that people who use crayons are crazy? I like my crayons! Especially the blue one. It makes my poo purple
Spiders - because men need to feel useful.
Ever thrown a cat into a swimming pool? Same thing happens when you think a woman is mad and ask “are you mad?”
Eat a banana lengthwise if you don't want anyone to sit by you.
There's no such thing as a straight guy with a bedazzled cellphone.
We live in a world of smart phones and dumb people! 