Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   You can't have manslaughter without laughter!

   says if you're not living on the edge, you're taking up too much space

   We have now reached that time of year when we look at the clock and say, OMG it is only 8 oclock????

   A glow worm is never glum… Because, how can you be grumpy when the sun shines out of your bum?

   Emo is to music, what Etch-A-Sketch is to art.

   Dude!!! I don't play, I quit school because of recess!

   Whoever's in charge of telling old men when they have weird, long hairs growing out of their eyebrows/ears should be fired.

   heard some thunder yesterday & it wasn't even raining. I guess what I'm really trying to say here is that Stevie Nicks is full of crap.

   at this moment in time I could really punch someone in the face

   idiot noun \ˈi-dē-ət\ - One who disagrees with me

   has a perfect body, but it's in the trunk and starting to smell

   can't remember the last time I LOL'ed let alone ROTF.

   Kanye West calls Thanksgiving "You're Welcome Day."

   making a Thanksgiving mix Tape

   findining it increasingly difficuly to not say "Really? Since when?" whenever an atheist says "OMG!"

   being chased by the paparazzi

   Beepedy,beep beep....

   Come on, give me that booze you little pumpkin pie hair cutted freak.

   I bet if Einstein had Facebook to waste time with he wouldn't have been all like smart and stuff.

   In a world without walls and fences - who needs Windows and Gates?