Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 4501 of 6446

BREAKING- the only way Trump is not your president is if you move to another country. See ya! Don't let the Wall hit you on the way out.
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11-12-2016 08:13
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You can't spell slaughter without laughter!
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08-04-2011 06:15 by Jackbrass
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pondering on incoherent thoughts that pertain to this abstract dilemma
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08-08-2008 00:20
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When you are talking to an invisible man in the sky, you are either A) on drugs Or B) at church
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05-17-2013 00:17
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Presidents day is canceled until we get one.
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02-03-2021 16:36 by Cyndi
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Just because you are vaccinated doesn’t mean you can now wear Axe Body Spray.
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04-12-2021 11:53
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The only thing worse than not getting a joke, is being offended by one.
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06-02-2020 14:25 by Fazzy
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Took my car into the mechanic. It was making a horrible high-pitched squeal. He said it was coming from the the Mariah Carey Christmas CD.
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12-08-2021 18:09 by DJJackson
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I told his wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked him in the cellar
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07-29-2009 15:18
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if you ever feel upset and depressed, just remember, you were once the fastest, most victorious sperm in the bunch.
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02-01-2010 20:34 by cmadden10
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I feel like Donald Trump had his wisdom teeth taken out, but the anesthesia never wore off.
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04-14-2016 10:34 by lkl627
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from where I come from helmets are won by motorcyclists not football players
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06-15-2014 02:15
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"If Jesus had a gun, he would be alive today" - Homer Simpson
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12-21-2013 00:51
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Richard Dawson has died....WOW!! I'm SHOCKED!!! I thought he died YEARS AGO?!?!?!
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06-03-2012 15:55 by pooh boy
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everybody knows the real good friday is in two weeks 4/20
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04-06-2012 19:56 by killphil
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If you park in the 'C' section of the hospital parking lot...do you have to climb out of the sunroof?
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04-30-2013 08:19 by JEBI
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jus saved alot on my car insurance by switching to reverse and fleeing the scene!
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12-19-2012 14:38
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Curiosity just landed on Mars. I hope there will be a picture of the 3 titties lady..

forget a silver spoon...this kid will get a golden spoon & become a spoiled brat like the rest of the royal family
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07-23-2013 00:38 by Eddy
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: If you can't tolerate me at my Worst, then you sure do not deserve me at my Best!!!
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07-13-2011 22:19
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