Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 4478 of 6446

Booze in the answer... dont remember the question
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01-13-2010 06:21
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Get away from me! What am i? Flypaper for freaks?

My cosmetic surgery might have gone wrong but I'm smiling on the inside.

To all the people that send those annoying Christmas chain text messages I HOPE YOU GET COAL THIS YEAR UNDER YOUR TREE!!!
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12-23-2010 15:17 by CLEVELAND
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Derek Rowe Lease just signed... Movin away from the old meth and crack heads next to some nice occasional cocaine users..
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01-10-2011 08:49 by Wolf
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so, Snooki didn't want to write a book about herself, so she rights a novel about the crazy fun at the Jersey Shore...and even has a character named Snooki in the book. Brilliant idea lady!
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01-11-2011 10:18
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like the iPhone: you no longer have exclusive rights to me!
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01-12-2011 09:14 by Jane
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I miss the days when their mother's loving kiss could solve all of my children's problems:o(
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01-21-2011 14:05
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an agent of chaos.
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01-22-2011 21:18
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Earth first! (We'll strip-mine the other planets later)
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04-05-2010 10:20
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They send you off to college to try to gain a little knowledge, but all you wanna do is learn how to score
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05-05-2010 13:55
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Taser? If that guy had been a Rangers fan the Texas cops would have shot him dead.
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05-06-2010 12:40
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Has anyone else seen the Pop Tarts commercials where mom makes her kids Pop Tart ice cream sandwiches and garnishes a sundae with Pop Tarts? What can you do to make Pop Tarts even worse for you AND encourage childhood obesity? Add ice cream of course!

I can't get enough minimalism
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05-27-2010 17:05
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Ladies when it comes to Men if you dont do anything that affects their 5 senses then they'l never feel what you are trying to express......

BP's latest strategy to stop leak, Operation Fingers Crossed, doesn't instill much confidence.
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06-03-2010 23:50
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People laugh because I'm different, I laugh because I know it!
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06-10-2010 07:55
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Why has "Just between you and I," never really just between you and I?
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06-13-2010 16:12
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If it doesn't kill you, kill it before it tries again!
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10-24-2012 14:31
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U.S met office issues a stark warning that Hurricane Sandy has been upgraded to a British Summer
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10-30-2012 15:15 by Jhowse21
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