Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon Booze in the answer... dont remember the question
←Rate | 01-13-2010 06:21 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Get away from me! What am i? Flypaper for freaks?
←Rate | 03-31-2010 03:51 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon My cosmetic surgery might have gone wrong but I'm smiling on the inside.
←Rate | 03-31-2010 15:55 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon To all the people that send those annoying Christmas chain text messages I HOPE YOU GET COAL THIS YEAR UNDER YOUR TREE!!!
←Rate | 12-23-2010 15:17 by CLEVELAND Comments (0)  


   messageicon Derek Rowe Lease just signed... Movin away from the old meth and crack heads next to some nice occasional cocaine users..
←Rate | 01-10-2011 08:49 by Wolf Comments (0)  


   messageicon so, Snooki didn't want to write a book about herself, so she rights a novel about the crazy fun at the Jersey Shore...and even has a character named Snooki in the book. Brilliant idea lady!
←Rate | 01-11-2011 10:18 Comments (0)  


   messageicon like the iPhone: you no longer have exclusive rights to me!
←Rate | 01-12-2011 09:14 by Jane Comments (0)  


   messageicon I miss the days when their mother's loving kiss could solve all of my children's problems:o(
←Rate | 01-21-2011 14:05 Comments (0)  


   messageicon an agent of chaos.
←Rate | 01-22-2011 21:18 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Earth first! (We'll strip-mine the other planets later)
←Rate | 04-05-2010 10:20 Comments (0)  


   messageicon They send you off to college to try to gain a little knowledge, but all you wanna do is learn how to score
←Rate | 05-05-2010 13:55 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Taser? If that guy had been a Rangers fan the Texas cops would have shot him dead.
←Rate | 05-06-2010 12:40 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Has anyone else seen the Pop Tarts commercials where mom makes her kids Pop Tart ice cream sandwiches and garnishes a sundae with Pop Tarts? What can you do to make Pop Tarts even worse for you AND encourage childhood obesity? Add ice cream of course!
←Rate | 05-19-2010 22:47 by vtoutdoorguymb Comments (0)  


   messageicon I can't get enough minimalism
←Rate | 05-27-2010 17:05 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ladies when it comes to Men if you dont do anything that affects their 5 senses then they'l never feel what you are trying to express......
←Rate | 06-01-2010 02:39 by crazychika Comments (0)  


   messageicon BP's latest strategy to stop leak, Operation Fingers Crossed, doesn't instill much confidence.
←Rate | 06-03-2010 23:50 Comments (0)  


   messageicon People laugh because I'm different, I laugh because I know it!
←Rate | 06-10-2010 07:55 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why has "Just between you and I," never really just between you and I?
←Rate | 06-13-2010 16:12 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If it doesn't kill you, kill it before it tries again!
←Rate | 10-24-2012 14:31 Comments (0)  


   messageicon U.S met office issues a stark warning that Hurricane Sandy has been upgraded to a British Summer
←Rate | 10-30-2012 15:15 by Jhowse21 Comments (0)  




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