Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon If your plan A doesn't work, don't sweat it. The alphabet has 25 more letters.
←Rate | 07-26-2011 04:07 by Zep Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you hate Trump now, think how much you'll like him if Hillary get elected.
←Rate | 08-20-2016 08:37 Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I first noticed you from across the room, I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life avoiding you.
←Rate | 08-14-2020 06:15 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Popeye's Chicken is offensive to guys who have ridiculously large forearms with anchors tattooed on them and really skinny girlfriends.
←Rate | 06-19-2020 06:46 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Trump's wives are proof that you do need immigrants for jobs that American's don't want to do.
←Rate | 11-11-2016 15:53 Comments (0)  


   messageicon In her defense, Kellyanne Conway was misled by the toaster.
←Rate | 03-14-2017 05:17 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Justin Trudeau should have asked Donald Trump what year the War of 1812 took place.
←Rate | 06-06-2018 23:20 Comments (0)  


   messageicon In order to keep his family involved, Trump has appointed Melania head of the Department of mining, given her background as a gold digger.
←Rate | 04-06-2017 15:32 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If someone can explain to me how stealing and destroying is a panacea for easing racial tensions, I'm all ears.
←Rate | 06-01-2020 13:47 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's just another Maniac Monday, wish it was Sunday 'cause that's my fun day!
←Rate | 07-12-2010 09:35 Comments (0)  


   messageicon aww, I feel really bad, I was sitting in the club havn a drink with some friends and a random girl tried chatting me up, all I said to her was ''would you like some face with your make up''....haha was funny though! Oi cake face!! Haha
←Rate | 08-21-2010 22:55 Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Gaga" = A Form Of Dodge Ball ..... Lady Gaga = Lesbian ..... Lesbian = Literally Dodges Balls ... Coincedence ? ... I think Not !
←Rate | 04-18-2010 04:44 Comments (0)  


   messageicon considered atheism, but there weren't enough holidays.
←Rate | 06-22-2009 18:35 Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I'm a billionaire, I will use cats instead of toilet paper.
←Rate | 05-28-2014 13:43 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Justin Bieber, why you no die drag racing like Paul Walker?
←Rate | 01-23-2014 09:21 Comments (0)  


   messageicon When someone ends their posts with "just sayin" I would love to smack the sh!t out of them and poke their eyeballs out with an ice pick....other than that I am having a great day!!
←Rate | 10-20-2011 17:18 by urboyblue Comments (0)  


   messageicon obviously all these people hatin on Occupy wall street HAVE a job.
←Rate | 11-17-2011 00:08 Comments (0)  


   messageicon In a lesbian relationship who makes the sandwich? Neither they both eat out.
←Rate | 05-31-2012 07:12 Comments (0)  


   messageicon How the hell do Edward Scissorhands And Freddy Kruger wipe their a@@?
←Rate | 05-28-2011 19:46 Comments (0)  


   messageicon What is the difference between a woman and a magnet? Magnets have a positive side!
←Rate | 06-06-2011 22:21 Comments (0)  




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