Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon You're so smart, you're probably turning the square in TETRIS
←Rate | 02-05-2012 06:00 by @insanemom Comments (0)  


   messageicon The only "b" word you should call a girl is beautiful. B**ches love to be called beautiful.
←Rate | 02-06-2012 21:16 by ShakeMaster Comments (0)  


   messageicon Right now there's a guy at the gym cleaning out Davy Jones' locker.
←Rate | 02-29-2012 21:42 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Last night I brought this woman back from the bar and couldn't get it up. I looked at her and all I could say was; sorry, no hard feelings.
←Rate | 05-11-2012 15:22 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I used to work in a factory crushing cans. I hated it! It was soda pressing.
←Rate | 06-16-2012 11:36 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't walk as if you rule the world, walk as if you DON'T CARE who rules the world! THIS IS WHAT I CALL ATTITUDE .......
←Rate | 10-10-2010 23:47 by orania Comments (0)  


   messageicon If women ruled the world there would be no wars. Just a bunch of jealous countries not talking to each other.
←Rate | 01-09-2011 06:44 Comments (0)  


   messageicon ... the weather guy just said, "We'll keep you up to breast" instead of "abreast." Guess this heat is getting to him, too ...
←Rate | 06-25-2010 08:06 Comments (0)  


   messageicon No Budweisor I have not been drinking any officers tonight
←Rate | 06-27-2010 18:22 Comments (0)  


   messageicon a good friend will bail you out of jail, a best friend will be in there with you and a sister will stand outside the cell laughing at you
←Rate | 06-27-2010 18:29 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Stop trying so hard. He doesn't like you, don't kiss an a$$ if it's in the process of $hitting on you
←Rate | 07-19-2010 17:02 by paulb808 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If Facebook really wanted to shake things up, they would introduce a thumbs-down "hate" button.
←Rate | 08-05-2010 15:45 Comments (0)  


   messageicon BREAKING NEWS: Myspace is dead!
←Rate | 08-14-2010 07:10 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Doesn't matter what I'm packin' in my denim, it's what's in my genes
←Rate | 11-24-2009 18:02 by Peebs Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don'T write HAPPY BIRTHDAY on my wall...Just send ur gift to this address!!
←Rate | 04-26-2010 00:53 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Bin Laden sees what BP's done, and he's like, "Man, I've got to step up my game."
←Rate | 06-03-2010 23:50 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm like Bush, I see the world more like checkers than chess.
←Rate | 12-07-2009 19:33 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Smile and the world will smile back at you .. :D
←Rate | 01-03-2010 16:59 Comments (0)  


   messageicon To succeed in life, you need two things: ignorance and confidence.
←Rate | 01-17-2010 22:13 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Badder then your Ex and Better then your next
←Rate | 02-16-2010 10:42 by melaine lebron Comments (0)  




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