Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   What a tortured soul... He never really figured out what Willis was talking about....

   Wow, I just heard Lady GaGa has hired people to find the remains of Bin Laden, she needs somthing to wear in her next video

   got thrown out of a casino last night... apparently I completely misunderstood the crap table!

   There's been a Boeing 777 in my backyard since March 8th, anybody missing an airplane?

   multiculturalization?? more like Islamization.

   Big Shout-out !!!,,, to Whitney Houston as she celebrates one year of sobriety today

   It's funny how guys are always looking for a Barbie, when most of them aren't Kens themselves.

   I really hate being Bi-Polar. It's fantastic! ):)

   May God have mercy on my new vibrator.

   The closest I've ever come to eating better is eating butter.

   I'll start to believe that video games create violent killings the day someone gets arrested for killing a pig by catapulting a bird at it

   You can say lots of bad things about pedophiles but at least they drive slowly in school zones.

   When you order your coffee at Starbucks tell them your name is "Merry Christmas"

   We now live in a country where we are spied on without warrants, told what you can eat and drink, forced to buy something you may not want, and can be fined for what you say. Welcome to Amerika 2014. Our Founding Fathers are spinning in their graves.

   If reading this status message caused premature death, you may be entitled to compensation. Please call our law offices if this has happened to you

   I would love to see everything, anyone has ever written to me, but backspaced before sending.

   Who ever said, " nothing is impossible!" never tried nailing jello to a tree.

   umm.. yeah, its may 21st in china already.. why hasnt the apocalypse started yet?

   Another fun day in Oz, toto

   Bring the past only if you are going to build from it.