Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   When we cannot bear to be alone, it means we do not properly value the only companion we will have from birth to death - ourselves

   Today's lunch: Redman and Dr. Pepper..slimy yet satisfying.

   the Dread Pirate Roberts.

   It is beyond me why people would be camping outside in the cold weather waiting 7, 8 hours to go spend them money...SMH

   working on my taxes and has come to the conclusion that taxation WITH respresentation is not that great either...

   Telepath wanted...you know where to apply.

   Do your best to limit the number of boundaries you set in life. Not everything you're looking for lies within that yellow tape.

   going outside to walk around in circles....cause thats how I stroll.

   Support your local record store today, because you can't roll a joint on a download b*tches.

   Conan O'Brien was on 60 Minutes this weekend . Jay Leno appeared 30 minutes in to take over due to 60 minutes "losing viewers and profits."

   Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife....

   When you are SINGLE all you see are happy couples.... When you are COMMITTED all you see are happy SINGLES!!! ;-)

   supports the rights of the Jedi to build a temple, but does it have to be two parsecs from the ruins of the Death Star?

   if you're good at something you just gotta put on your jogging shoes and run with it!!!

   With a name like "Earl," I'm more afraid this hurricane will get drunk and beat a pregnant woman, than I am that it will cause flooding.

   It's not that I don't like men..Its just that I think they should drink from separate water fountains..

   if you don't like your job, you don't strike...you just go in everyday and do it half-assed...THAT'S THE AMERICAN WAY!!

   I wish my laundry were more like me and do itself.

   3 roomates and the end of the toilet paper ALWAYS end on me.. WTF!!!!!

   May the mass times acceleration be with you.