Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   By the power invested in me, I now pronounce you: deleted and blocked. You may now kiss my A$$ !

   think that if there wasnt a last minute she wouldnt get anything done

   Extends his rear out to anyone who wants to see New Moon

   So the Packers beat the Eagles. They might beat the Falcons. Then possibly the Seahawks and then meet the Ravens in the SuperBowl... Wow! All those teams would be in a Fowl mood !

   looked up the word "thug" in the dictionary. The definition was "Auburn".

   just heard about the 2 blondes that froze to deat at the drive in...they were watching "CLOSED FOR THE WINTER"!!

   Don't forget to change your clocks on Sunday. And while you're at it, make those changes for the better in your life that you've been putting off.

   You have to feel sorry for the Mother's of the Chilean miners. The waiting, the pain, seeing their kids come out slowly from a small dark hole. It's like child birth all over again

   Do what you love, and the money will follow, unless what you love is Facebook.

   saying goes: The darker the berry the sweeter the juice. Well the lighter the berry the longer it stays ripe. ;)

   Dear women: we don't give a CRAP about eyebrows. Love, men.

   Never be afraid to try something new. Remember: Professionals built the Titanic; Amateurs built the Ark.

   Sky news -'US: Gaddafi 'Delusional And Unfit To Lead'That's rich, coming from a country which put George Bush in charge...

   If a girl's profile pic is a cropped close-up of the face, she is a porker.

   All news on Lindsay Lohan a spoiled girl who can't abide by laws. Here are a few worth knowing about: J. Bartett, D. Santos, C. Stanley, J. Reed, M. Johnson, Z. Fisher, B. King, C. Goeke, S. Tate, they gave their lives for you this week, Bless our troops!

   Not ALL Americans are upset about this Healthcare bill, but we are TIRED of all the unneccessary insults and complaining without any solutions. You can't complain if you don't have a solution. SIMPLY PUT! At least SOMETHING was done!

   apparently theres a board game named after the Titanic.. whats next, 9/11 jenga?

   Sarah Palin thinks US law should be based on the Bible. As the most attractive female in national politics, I think she'd be far more successful doing an arm-in-arm political fashion tour with the most attractive man in Washington, Ann Coulter.

   has never went to bed with an ugly girl, just woke up with a few THANKS ALCOHOL

   Men are like lottery tickets. Very exciting at first, until you scratch away the surface to reveal the loser beneath.