Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Reverse Psychology: If I were you, I wouldn't even bother trying, because you'll probably f*ck it up.

   i hate how I walk by the computer and forget what I was planning on doing and instanly check here and facebook lol.

   Im all about "I" give the rest of the vowels back.

   Just named my new puppy "EGYPT" cause he left a pyramid in every room.

   When someone posts pictures of a dance or something, you always look through them to see if you are in the background.

   Ladies keep saying "Save the TaTa's" as their Breast Cancer Awareness slogan. I will do my part then ladies so text me a pic of those tittays and I will save them to my phone!

   At a cemetary, looking for my name on tombstones. This is the Goth version of Googling yourself.

   So now I hear that the world is supposed to end on 21 Oct 2011. There's a greater chance of me growing purple hair, blue teeth and a unicorn horn along with pooping rainbows before I believe that rubbish!

   "Sex is life"... I want you to make me immortal.

   The more you care, the more you lose.

   BBC NEWS: Police are moving in at Dale Farm...& there's me thinking they were trying to CLEAR the site!! ;)

   Listening to a Spanish female duet in a Greek restaurant. It's confusing to me and all these Koreans.

   theres too many car dealers around so I'm gonna go different... I'm gonna sell unicycles. i'll be the only one in the region so I'll get all the sales

   wrong mac miller that died ya big dummy you got a computer research it

   The Philadelphia man that bought a $4.00 painting but inside is a $2.5 million dollar worth Declaration of Independence document. Ok the song Philadelphia Freedom comes to mind

   Thank God for Pancakes and Tang.... They taste the same from when it goes down till you throw it back up!

   You;re so annoying you should have a SLAP named after you.

   A Friend suggestion with 1 mutual friend!? Really facebook?? Has it gotten that pathetic? ..smh.

   ■Nothing is forever. Especially people. Don't have your hopes high, Friends become strangers, Lovers become friends, & People leave.

   Dear Harry Potter fans,, Of course Star Wars fans are better than you,, We even have our own holiday,,,, Sincerely,, May the 4th be with you !