father OR dad Funny Status Messages

Sort:  Recent   |   Oldest   |   Rating

Search Messages:

Search results for status messages containing 'father OR dad': View All Messages
Page: 4 of 18

   messageicon If you have never said "Luke, I am your father" into an empty pringles can, then you probably should get on that
←Rate | 06-09-2013 21:56 by snotty Comments (0)  

   messageicon Dear lady who says she will only date guys who drive Mercedes or BMW cars, yet your father drives a Hyundai; Why can't you be humble like your mother?
←Rate | 08-24-2012 09:28 by Czovczov Comments (0)  

   messageicon Chicken strips because Chicken never knew her father.
←Rate | 05-22-2014 11:00 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Doughboy is survived by his wife Play Dough, three children: John Dough, Jane Dough and Dosey Dough, plus they had one in the oven. He is also survived by his elderly father, Pop Tart. The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.
←Rate | 02-03-2011 16:32 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Nowadays, Father's Day is a good day to thank Dad for not running away from home.
←Rate | 06-18-2011 22:59 by markmc1965 Comments (0)  

   messageicon A lot of people don't realize that Shania Twain's father, Mark, was actually a pretty good writer.
←Rate | 10-23-2015 23:50 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I live by my father's motto: "Life is a football game. Try to fall asleep in the first quarter and complain if anyone shuts off the TV."
←Rate | 03-01-2014 09:57 by andrew jackson Comments (0)  

   messageicon No clean cereal bowls? Line a strainer with plastic wrap. Laziness is the father of invention.
←Rate | 09-08-2010 09:52 Comments (0)  

   messageicon one of life's greatest mysteries is how the boy who wasn't good enough to marry your daughter can be the father of the smartest grandchild in the world.
←Rate | 06-17-2011 00:50 by MTQ Comments (0)  

   messageicon "Someone's been eating my porridge!", said Father bear. Mother bear sighed and poured him another bowl. Life was tough and draining for her, now that her husband was suffering from Alzheimer's.
←Rate | 03-09-2011 00:02 by manbearpig Comments (0)  

   messageicon What dad's really would like for father'r day. To be left alone so they can drink their beer in peace.
←Rate | 06-16-2018 22:48 by Jake Comments (0)  

   messageicon Am sorry I asked you 'Who is the father' when you told me your wife is pregnant.
←Rate | 09-05-2019 06:12 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Can't believe they've made a Taken 2...Liam Neeson must be an even worse father than Gerry McCann
←Rate | 09-18-2012 06:50 by Paul Comments (1)  

   messageicon I don't care what happens when FATHER catches DAUGHTER on her WEBCAM! Stop posting that darn link to my wall!!
←Rate | 09-19-2010 08:06 Comments (0)  

   messageicon My mother + my father - condom = COOLEST PERSON ALIVE! :-).
←Rate | 08-17-2011 22:51 Comments (0)  

   messageicon some say that Justin Bieber is the father of Rebecca Blacks baby....but its not true...There is no way 1 girl can impregnate another
←Rate | 05-15-2011 08:52 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Son: Dad, what does 'gay' means? Father: It means 'to be happy'. Son: Are you gay? Father: No, son. I have a wife.
←Rate | 07-01-2012 18:01 Comments (0)  

   messageicon My dad's ability to drive with one hand while reaching back and smacking the right child, somehow always impressed me... Happy father's day dad!
←Rate | 05-20-2013 13:37 by snotty Comments (0)  

   messageicon Just sent out 200 text messages to random phone numbers saying "Happy Father's Day! I'm pregnant!" Now listening to the police scanner for my daily entertainment.
←Rate | 06-17-2012 09:57 Comments (0)  

   messageicon “... of that day and hour no one knows, not even the angels of heaven, nor the Son, but the Father alone.” Matthew 24:36..If God has not even revealed to his own son the date the world will end, I doubt he has revealed it to Harold Camping.
←Rate | 05-18-2011 23:15 by joe fool Comments (0)  

[Search Results] [View All Messages]
Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Status Message:

... characters left