Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   at the Video Music Awards on her mobile ...ihg32h9gj0fk0kfkkkkkkfmmnnn273fbf111... ...FOR F*** SAKE KANYE LET GO OF THE KEYBOARD!

   how does every black joke start? by looking over your shoulder.

   instead of 'free' healthcare or 'free' college how about some freedom, dam commies

   Just remember, Michael Jordan would not have been a six time NBA champion without the government building the roads that got him to the game!

   ...its -4 out and snow is on it's way tomorrow...so much for this global warming they talk about...although they'll probably blame the cold on the hole in the ozone layer or cow farts...

   Why do guys think more then girls, and why do girls talk more then guys? Because guys have two heads and girls have two sets of lips

   The hypocrisy of some on the LEFT has no bounds.

   - Jesus saves. Moses gets the puck. He shoots! HE SCORES!!!!

   Save a horse, ride the bus.

   thinks Dennis Leary said it best...."Ted Kennedy, great Senator, but a bad date!"

   You know its the truth when Republicans start with the name calling.

   His 'holiness'?? It seems Catholics have more love and respect for the Pope than they do for Jesus.

   Everyone remembers that we were attacked, but few remember why.

   Dear Dad. Thanks for not pulling out. Happy Father's Day!

   The bra section of Victoria's Secret. The only place in the world where women fail if they get an A…

    says celebrating MLK day by drinking MILK and eatin' some cookies...Oreos as a matter of fact. However I'm seperating the dark from the white part :Y

   Hey I just met you. and this is crazy. But theirs the Kitchen. A sandwich maybe?

   I was raised catholic which means I have to close my eyes when I peel a banana.

   One man's toxic sludge is another man's potpourri

   TIP TO REDUCE WEIGHT! first turn your head to the left...then turn your head to the right,..repeat this excercise evrytime you are offerd something to EAT