Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Search Messages:
I'm not on Team Edward or Team Jacob. I'm on Team Buffy! 
why is the butter always in the back of the fridge??
The real trouble with reality is that there's no background music...
Good morning! Looks like you need a shot of wake the fok up!?
If your Mexican, iFeliz Cinco de Mayo!. If you are Latin-American, Happy Cinco de Mayo! If you are none of these cultures, Happy Wednesday
Obama's Ultimatum to BP: Clean Up Spill Or I Will Say A$$ Again
A lot of money is tainted. It taint yours and it taint mine.
So gingivitis isn't the fear of redheads?
Nothing witty to be posted.....(wait for it).....today :|
it even possible to calmly walk away from a dark basement?
I'll stop at nothing to avoid using negative numbers.
@ TSA: Can't see London, can't see France, unless we see your underpants. Grope discounts available.
Joss Weadon is calling for the @ssassination of President Elect Trump ... Hope he realized he just commited a felony offense which is a Class E felony under United States Code Title 18, Section 871.
The only way you tards are gonna push Hillary through now is with a time machine.
I'm still on the fence about who to vote for in November ... One candidate is a Successful Business man Married to an Immigrant and the other is a Failed Lawyer Former Secretary of State married to a Philandering Disbarred Lawyer Impeached Ex President.
Roethlisberger is still out?.... Man, mace must last longer than I thought...
If drinking tequila straight from the bottle is wrong, then I'm the wrongest person at this church service.
I am The King of Sting & The Master of Disaster !
10-11-12... Sooo Exciting... Not!!. I think we all know, the BIG day we're all really waiting for is in seventy days and counting... Be afraid. Be very afraid! Brohahaha!!.
Men and women react to pain in different ways. If a man is hurt he'll try hard to conceal it from his friends, and look to his woman for sympathy. If a woman is hurt she'll suffer in silence, and tell everyone. 