Mom or Mother Funny Status Messages

   you know its sad when your mother is on facebook and guys younger than you are poking her.

   Im Not The Girl Ur Mother Warned you About,,, Her Imagination Was Never This Good ;)

   No man succeeds without a good woman behind him. Wife or mother, if it is both, he is twice blessed indeed

   When you feel neglected think of a mother salmon who lays 3,000,000 eggs and no one remembers her on Mother's Day

   2 dyslexics run into a bank and shout "air in the hands mother stickers this is a f**k up

   being 39 and after 20 years of living with my mother never understood what she meant by..."boys piss in the toliet" when we thought we were......Until NOW that I have a boy to clean after........GEZZZZZZZZ........

   Idea for a Christmas Party: Have two guys dress as Jesus and Santa Claus. One brings wine the other brings Eggnog with vodka. Santa brings his 12 reindeer playboy bunnies. All at your mother-in-law's house. ONE BIG JINGLE FOR THE YEAR.

   If a mute kid swears,does his mother wash his hands out with soap?

   Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says "If an emergency, notify:" I put "DOCTOR". What's my mother going to do?

   My mother wants me to get up and go to work. But the voices in my head want me to stay home and clean the guns.

   thinks mother nature is bi-polar and is off her meds!!

   The only thing stronger than a mother's love is a garlic breath!

   My mother tried to kill me when I was a baby. She denied it. She said she thought the plastic bag would keep me fresh.

   THE ALIENS ARE ATTACKING EARTH ON FRIDAY. THEIR PLAN IS TO KIDNAP ALL THE BEAUTIFUL & SEXY PEOPLE.. DONT WORRY, YOU'RE SAFE... I JUST WANTED TO SAY GOODBYE, PLEASE CHECK IN ON MY MOTHER IN LAW EVERY NOW AND THEN

   thinks mother nature is bi-polar

   youre so ugly just after you were was born, your mother said, "What a treasure!" and your father said, "Yea, let's go bury it!"

   starting to think Brett Favre switched places with mother nature, the weather seems very indecisive lately........

   They call our language the mother tongue because the father seldom gets to speak

   wanted a motorcycle when he left school, but his mother said no. She had a brother who died in a horrible motorcycle accident when he was 18..... So she said I could just have his.

   just came back from a pleasure trip (took the mother-in-law to the bus station)