nfl OR football OR superbowl Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I just got a call from the NFL office...they must have gotten wind of that 1 flag football game I ref'd in 2002
←Rate | 09-25-2012 21:26 by xi0n Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think a man with a helmet defending his country should make more money than a man with a helmet defending a football.
←Rate | 02-20-2016 05:24 Comments (0)  


   messageicon not saying that "The Who" are old, but half of the people watching the superbowl last night were wondering "Who are those guys playing the CSI theme song?"
←Rate | 02-08-2010 18:29 by dane Comments (0)  


   messageicon My friends and I played fantasy football in high-school. No league, we just constantly thought about the cheerleaders.
←Rate | 08-19-2014 06:30 by andrew jackson Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just learned that to burn off the calories from 1 M&M you have to walk the length of a football field. BRB I have to run to China.
←Rate | 12-20-2010 18:51 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon watching football the same way Colin Kaepernick does... sitting on my couch
←Rate | 09-07-2017 21:37 Comments (0)  


   messageicon ..... Personally, I think a man with a helmet defending his country should make a lot more money than a man with a helmet defending a football.
←Rate | 09-20-2016 18:19 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just got back from my high school Football coach's funeral. I leaned over the casket and whispered "YOU walk it off".
←Rate | 12-15-2011 09:18 Comments (0)  


   messageicon my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
←Rate | 07-02-2010 22:53 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My favorite thing about Basketball is when it's Football.
←Rate | 11-25-2012 17:17 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon I hope your favorite football team wins so that it changes your life in no way whatsoever.
←Rate | 01-09-2014 00:46 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon When somebody tells you nothing is impossible, ask him to dribble a football.
←Rate | 10-15-2016 05:48 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ladies, if you are really good at blow jobs, you don’t have to pretend to like football.
←Rate | 08-25-2013 12:25 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Out on the highway, getting passed by a Prius is the football equivalent of getting tackled by the kicker.
←Rate | 11-24-2015 14:19 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If the NBA really wanted me to watch, they'd be play Football instead!!
←Rate | 06-17-2010 17:52 by greg2missy Comments (0)  


   messageicon I really hope my fantasy football teams do well this year.... I need a resume booster.
←Rate | 09-05-2013 21:49 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hey girls,the best time to give a blowjob is when there's a football game on TV. It sounds like 50,000 people are cheering for you.
←Rate | 10-12-2015 00:57 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon If this aint the most ghetto-est NFL Superbowl ever.....
←Rate | 02-03-2013 21:00 by jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon Thinking they need to make pro football and basketball coaches wear uniforms like baseball coaches do.
←Rate | 10-27-2010 21:02 by KEVIN IN DALLAS Comments (0)  


   messageicon We get it, ESPN. The superbowl will be cold, you don't have to remind us every 5 minutes.
←Rate | 01-27-2014 16:46 Comments (0)  


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