nfl OR football OR superbowl Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon Glad it's college football season again, now we have an excuse to drink at 10:00 AM on a Saturday.
←Rate | 08-30-2012 19:39 by @cdrizzzy Comments (0)  

   messageicon Drank like 3 Four Lokos and some hand sanitizer last night, blacked out and apparently officiated a Monday Night Football game.
←Rate | 09-26-2012 04:24 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  

   messageicon I just got a call from the NFL office...they must have gotten wind of that 1 flag football game I ref'd in 2002
←Rate | 09-25-2012 21:26 by xi0n Comments (0)  

   messageicon I think a man with a helmet defending his country should make more money than a man with a helmet defending a football.
←Rate | 02-20-2016 05:24 Comments (0)  

   messageicon My friends and I played fantasy football in high-school. No league, we just constantly thought about the cheerleaders.
←Rate | 08-19-2014 06:30 by andrew jackson Comments (0)  

   messageicon I just learned that to burn off the calories from 1 M&M you have to walk the length of a football field. BRB I have to run to China.
←Rate | 12-20-2010 18:51 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  

   messageicon my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
←Rate | 07-02-2010 22:53 Comments (0)  

   messageicon watching football the same way Colin Kaepernick does... sitting on my couch
←Rate | 09-07-2017 21:37 Comments (0)  

   messageicon ..... Personally, I think a man with a helmet defending his country should make a lot more money than a man with a helmet defending a football.
←Rate | 09-20-2016 18:19 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Just got back from my high school Football coach's funeral. I leaned over the casket and whispered "YOU walk it off".
←Rate | 12-15-2011 09:18 Comments (0)  

   messageicon My favorite thing about Basketball is when it's Football.
←Rate | 11-25-2012 17:17 by snotty Comments (0)  

   messageicon I hope your favorite football team wins so that it changes your life in no way whatsoever.
←Rate | 01-09-2014 00:46 by Czovczov Comments (0)  

   messageicon When somebody tells you nothing is impossible, ask him to dribble a football.
←Rate | 10-15-2016 05:48 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Ladies, if you are really good at blow jobs, you don’t have to pretend to like football.
←Rate | 08-25-2013 12:25 by Baddie Comments (0)  

   messageicon Out on the highway, getting passed by a Prius is the football equivalent of getting tackled by the kicker.
←Rate | 11-24-2015 14:19 Comments (0)  

   messageicon If the NBA really wanted me to watch, they'd be play Football instead!!
←Rate | 06-17-2010 17:52 by greg2missy Comments (0)  

   messageicon I really hope my fantasy football teams do well this year.... I need a resume booster.
←Rate | 09-05-2013 21:49 by snotty Comments (0)  

   messageicon Hey girls,the best time to give a blowjob is when there's a football game on TV. It sounds like 50,000 people are cheering for you.
←Rate | 10-12-2015 00:57 by Czovczov Comments (0)  

   messageicon If this aint the most ghetto-est NFL Superbowl ever.....
←Rate | 02-03-2013 21:00 by jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon Thinking they need to make pro football and basketball coaches wear uniforms like baseball coaches do.
←Rate | 10-27-2010 21:02 by KEVIN IN DALLAS Comments (0)  

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