santa AND presents AND christmas AND xmas AND holidays AND elfs Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I was Christmas shopping for a friend's daughter... I asked what she was into and he said "anything Frozen" So, I got her a bag of peas and some pizza rolls.
←Rate | 10-26-2018 15:59 Comments (0)  


   messageicon PUBLIC CHRISTMAS SAFETY ANNOUNCEMENT: .... Always remember, If you got a big-screen TV for Christmas, be sure to put the empty box out with your neighbor's trash. That way, their house will get robbed instead of yours.
←Rate | 12-09-2016 11:58 Comments (0)  


   messageicon What flavor vape oil are you leaving out for Santa this year?
←Rate | 12-05-2019 13:56 Comments (0)  


   messageicon me: [listening to The Twelve Days of Christmas] "no person wants this many birds"
←Rate | 12-06-2019 08:57 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I accidentally drank two energy drinks this morning and now my house is decorated for Christmas.
←Rate | 09-25-2013 11:22 by minnie haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon All I want for Christmas is you ...... Just kidding I want Money
←Rate | 12-14-2016 00:40 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Gonna go lay under the Christmas tree to remind my family I'm a gift!!
←Rate | 12-15-2018 00:42 by Stevielea Comments (0)  


   messageicon Bad part about being a bomb disposal technician..... It takes me 6 hours to open my Christmas presents.
←Rate | 12-17-2018 01:49 by Joker Comments (0)  


   messageicon At Christmas time it's fun to take a new Lexus for a test drive, put a big red bow on it & pull into random people's driveways honking.
←Rate | 12-14-2011 16:30 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sorry if my phone keeps calling you, it's voice activated. I'm at the mall and everytime santa says Ho, Ho, Ho, it dials your number
←Rate | 12-13-2017 04:48 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I went through an expensive and painful procedure yesterday, having had my spine and both testicles removed. Still, some of the wedding presents were fantastic.
←Rate | 01-06-2017 08:36 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just a Christmas reminder. Buy your kids a big pack of batteries and attach a card that says "Toys not Included".
←Rate | 11-27-2011 17:16 by K-Mac Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'd like to apologize for getting drunk and making an ass of myself at your Christmas party next week...
←Rate | 11-23-2012 16:24 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Turns out Santa is the ultimate Millennial Hipster ..... He works one day a year .... and spends the rest of the year judging you.
←Rate | 12-02-2016 11:23 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just saved a TON of money on Christmas presents by discussing politics on Facebook.
←Rate | 10-26-2012 23:53 by @topherjordan Comments (3)  


   messageicon if you are posting how many days there are until Christmas in November, you should have to do all the dishes after Thanksgiving dinner.
←Rate | 11-13-2010 11:48 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wonder if the Three Wise Men said to Jesus, "Just to be clear, these gifts are for your birthday AND Christmas."
←Rate | 12-03-2012 09:54 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon My Dad asked me what I wanted for Xmas tonight. I told him a gift certificate from Adam and Eve so I could get that swing set. He said he thought the kids were a bit old for it but he said he would look it up online. Boy is he in for a surprise.....
←Rate | 12-16-2010 17:18 by Peter Gillespie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wrap all my Christmas gifts in bubble wrap.....it's like giving two gifts in one!
←Rate | 12-12-2013 15:28 by EF Comments (0)  


   messageicon I can't wait for a empty Christmas wrapping paper tube to bonk someone over the head with!
←Rate | 11-27-2016 09:27 Comments (0)  




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