Mom or Mother Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Dear Facebook, I'm fully capable of finding my phone friends so if you can do me a favor and stop suggesting them to me like my mother did when I was 5 years old that would be great. Thanks!
←Rate | 11-06-2019 01:00 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The baby gets really annoyed when I try to undress him. He gets that from his mother.
←Rate | 08-23-2019 06:44 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The year is 2073. My wife and I rest in side by side burial plots. Waking up in the middle of the night our 57yo son, for reasons beyond his understanding, digs a horizontal hole between us and gets in. His head near his mother and his feet kicking my c
←Rate | 08-17-2019 06:45 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Mother Goose Haiku: Old Mother Hubbard Looked in cupboard for dog food Nothing for that dog.
←Rate | 05-26-2019 09:11 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I see the mother in law's put up a new profile pic! It's got 23 yikes already!
←Rate | 03-01-2019 06:13 by Truman Comments (0)  


   messageicon The penalty for bigamy is having two mother in-laws.
←Rate | 02-05-2019 16:03 by Joker Comments (0)  


   messageicon In sept 1945 I wish "he" was shot into space instead of his mother being impregnated with him.
←Rate | 01-27-2019 14:07 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My mother inlaw standing in front of a mirror: "I feel fat and ugly." . Me to make her feel better: "Well at lease your eye sight is good."
←Rate | 01-24-2019 14:17 by Joker Comments (2)  


   messageicon My mother in-law is so ugly, even a boiling tea kettle won't give her a whistle.
←Rate | 01-14-2019 17:23 by Joker Comments (0)  


   messageicon My mother never saw the iorny in calling me a s.o.b.
←Rate | 01-03-2019 02:48 by Joker Comments (0)  


   messageicon Well, I guess we are going to see "The Nutcracker" on Saturday! My mother-in-law, not the play.......
←Rate | 12-15-2018 00:20 by JeffW Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why did Adam and Eve have the perfect marriage?..... Because neither one of them had a mother in-law.
←Rate | 10-15-2018 22:12 by Haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon using Just For Men on your mother in laws mustache at night wrong ? Asking for a friend ..
←Rate | 10-04-2018 22:08 Comments (0)  


   messageicon When my mother in-law said she wants to be creamated. I immediatley made her an appointment for next week.
←Rate | 09-14-2018 23:00 by Haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've noticed that the most attractive women always drive those cute little cars! Which reminds me...the mother-in-law's Panzer needs an oil change!!
←Rate | 08-09-2018 09:59 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Gave my boss a mother's day card. Because "he" is one of the top ten mothers on my list.
←Rate | 05-12-2018 00:34 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Another woman cause me to leave my wife. It was her mother.
←Rate | 04-24-2018 19:38 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Kid, “Did you feel that? Was that an earthquake?” Husband, “No it was just your mother coming down the stairs.” And that, folks, is how to end a marriage in 10 words or less.
←Rate | 04-20-2018 02:11 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Its still winter because Mother Nature saw all our summer bodies and decided we weren't ready yet.
←Rate | 04-17-2018 19:12 by @UncleBSolomon Comments (0)  


   messageicon Switching off my mother inlaw's life support machine was very difficult. I had to fight off a doctor, a nurse and two security guards. Beeeeeeeep
←Rate | 03-23-2018 22:33 by Jake Comments (0)  




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