Mom or Mother Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon "your mother" is my response whenever someone talks to me in a language I dont understand.
←Rate | 07-06-2016 03:40 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Do soccer players actually pay for those hair cuts or do they just find the first drunk guy with a weed eater and insult his mother?
←Rate | 06-26-2016 23:02 Comments (0)  

   messageicon It's like Canada is the concerned child watching her aging mother (Britain) and weirdo big brother (United States) descend into chaos in 2016, unsure who to worry over first.
←Rate | 06-26-2016 22:19 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I'm wondering...did Bruce Jenner get a father's day gift on father's day, a mother's day gift on Mother's day, or gifts on both days? If he gets gifts on both days, then this all makes sense now.
←Rate | 06-20-2016 20:13 Comments (0)  

   messageicon .... The poor mother was only trying to give her son a chance at a better life ..... Then zookeepers shot his new adoptive parent.
←Rate | 05-31-2016 10:29 Comments (0)  

   messageicon ........ Yup ...... I too was once a male trapped in a female body ...... But then my mother gave birth ......
←Rate | 05-27-2016 23:06 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Crap, I accidentally said Happy Mother's Day to my mother in person instead of writing a paragraph on social media. I feel like such a tool
←Rate | 05-09-2016 21:07 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I wanted to serve my wife breakfast in bed but she wouldn't cooperate. By the time I got her tied up so she couldn't get out I had to feed her myself. It got a bit messy, but happy mother's day anyway
←Rate | 05-09-2016 09:38 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Mother is the name for God on the lips and hearts of all children.
←Rate | 05-08-2016 21:32 Comments (1)  

   messageicon All Mom's gave birth to a child, except mine she gave birth to a legend!!! **High fives my Mom on Mother's Day**
←Rate | 05-08-2016 16:00 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Good thing my mom's not on Facebook otherwise you would have to read some sappy Happy Mother's Day post from me.
←Rate | 05-08-2016 09:05 Comments (0)  

   messageicon My mother talks into the phone like a combat soldier calling in air support. Happy Mother's Day!!!
←Rate | 05-08-2016 06:42 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Nipples...Mother Nature's thermometer.
←Rate | 05-05-2016 09:04 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Which sexual position produces the ugliest children? Ask your mother.
←Rate | 04-16-2016 04:31 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Childs experience: if a mother is laughing at the fathers jokes, it means they have guests.
←Rate | 04-15-2016 16:39 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Bernie Sanders got so excited about the hashtag #BoobsForBernie, it's actually a photo of a breastfeeding mother at one of his rallies. Not a Girls Gone Wild Spring Break edition video.
←Rate | 03-05-2016 15:55 Comments (0)  

   messageicon am I the only person watching Fuller House waiting for Bob Saget to tell the daughters how he met their mother?
←Rate | 02-27-2016 05:21 by Eddy Comments (0)  

   messageicon My Guardian Angel be like "I'm gonna lose my job and end up in hell with this mother f*cker..."
←Rate | 02-19-2016 18:28 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Laziness is the mother of all bad habits, but ultimately she is a mother and we should respect her.
←Rate | 02-06-2016 01:09 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Bristol Palin is not amused with Tina Fey's impression of her mother, Sarah Palin. Perhaps it's was Sarah Palin doing an impression on Tina Fey. No one ever thinks about that.
←Rate | 01-29-2016 01:47 Comments (0)  

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