Mom or Mother Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Crap, I accidentally said Happy Mother's Day to my mother in person instead of writing a paragraph on social media. I feel like such a tool
←Rate | 05-09-2016 21:07 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wanted to serve my wife breakfast in bed but she wouldn't cooperate. By the time I got her tied up so she couldn't get out I had to feed her myself. It got a bit messy, but happy mother's day anyway
←Rate | 05-09-2016 09:38 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Mother is the name for God on the lips and hearts of all children.
←Rate | 05-08-2016 21:32 Comments (1)  


   messageicon All Mom's gave birth to a child, except mine she gave birth to a legend!!! **High fives my Mom on Mother's Day**
←Rate | 05-08-2016 16:00 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Good thing my mom's not on Facebook otherwise you would have to read some sappy Happy Mother's Day post from me.
←Rate | 05-08-2016 09:05 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My mother talks into the phone like a combat soldier calling in air support. Happy Mother's Day!!!
←Rate | 05-08-2016 06:42 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Nipples...Mother Nature's thermometer.
←Rate | 05-05-2016 09:04 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Which sexual position produces the ugliest children? Ask your mother.
←Rate | 04-16-2016 04:31 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Childs experience: if a mother is laughing at the fathers jokes, it means they have guests.
←Rate | 04-15-2016 16:39 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Bernie Sanders got so excited about the hashtag #BoobsForBernie, it's actually a photo of a breastfeeding mother at one of his rallies. Not a Girls Gone Wild Spring Break edition video.
←Rate | 03-05-2016 15:55 Comments (0)  


   messageicon am I the only person watching Fuller House waiting for Bob Saget to tell the daughters how he met their mother?
←Rate | 02-27-2016 05:21 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon My Guardian Angel be like "I'm gonna lose my job and end up in hell with this mother f*cker..."
←Rate | 02-19-2016 18:28 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Laziness is the mother of all bad habits, but ultimately she is a mother and we should respect her.
←Rate | 02-06-2016 01:09 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Bristol Palin is not amused with Tina Fey's impression of her mother, Sarah Palin. Perhaps it's was Sarah Palin doing an impression on Tina Fey. No one ever thinks about that.
←Rate | 01-29-2016 01:47 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I actually never like to touch baby carrots,,, because I'm afraid the mother will reject them.
←Rate | 01-09-2016 09:44 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Which sexual position produces the ugliest children? Ask your Mother
←Rate | 01-09-2016 08:15 by MWC Comments (0)  


   messageicon A daughter asked her mother how to spell pinus, her mom said you should have asked me last night it was at the tip of my tongue.
←Rate | 01-09-2016 08:12 by MWC Comments (1)  


   messageicon Hey 2015... Don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out, you Dirty Mother Fucker!!!
←Rate | 12-31-2015 11:26 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My mother in-law is letting me renovate her kitchen. My wife told me to get the cupboards from that Scandinavian company with the short name. Turns out it was IKEA not LEGO,
←Rate | 12-26-2015 18:22 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My Mother in law Joined ISIS this morning.. She leaves tomorrow on a suicide mission.. At least that's what the papers I just signed said ..
←Rate | 12-18-2015 19:14 Comments (0)  



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