Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Search Messages:
Look at your status, now back to mine, now back to yours, now back to mine. Sadly, yours isn't mine. But if you stopped posting about other things and made this your status, yours could be like mine. Look down, back up.Where are you? You're on Facebook, r 
Go to Google. Type in "Ewmew Fudd". Click "I'm feeling lucky". You're welcome.
A woman's work is never done. Which is probably why they don't make as much.
PMS = [P]repare to [M]eet [S]atan.
Dreaming of a White Christmas? You r@cist b@stards.
Bengazi, deleting emails, donations from Saudi's, defending child rapists and laughing at their victims... feel free to make fun of Trumps hair (as that's all you've got).
Trump is going to be the next president. Deal with it. In a related story, Air Canada has cheap fares right now.
.... Please tell me more about how YOU came to OUR country and now YOU want US to change OUR traditions because THEY offend YOU and YOU want US to change to suit YOU and YOUR ways. What if I told YOU ... THAT offends ME and MY COUNTRY!!
Chinese Take-Out $18.97....Gas money to go pick it up $10.00...getting home and realizing they forgot one of your cartons.......RICELESS
who else is mad that it's 2011 and we still don't have hover boards and flying cars?
Tupac died because he lived the thug life. This 12 pack is going to die because I live the chug life.
To all you guys out there that "pimp" out your truck , its like dressing your son up in girls clothes.
Hooked on Phonics werked fer me :-)
Trump got more women to walk in 1 day than Michelle Obama did in 8 years
ATTENTION VEGETARIANS: If God didn't want us to eat animals, he wouldn't have made them out of meat
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the cl!toris is
I wonder if fat drug dealers sell diet coke...?
■The day Facebook adds a “Who cares?” button would be the best day ever.
Be with the one who will get your panties wet not your eyes.
Why is the Arab world pissed about the video of Marines peeing on dead bodies? A lot of people enjoy getting peed on judging from the number of videos I found trying to find the video in question. 