Mom or Mother Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Shut up, you'll never be the man your mother is
←Rate | 11-15-2010 19:16 by Esoteric Comments (0)  


   messageicon Where are the realistic Mother's Day cards that say, "Well you did the best you could with what you had and I still love you anyways."
←Rate | 05-10-2015 08:50 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just got a text saying... I'm Not The Girl Ur Mother Warned you About,,, Her Imagination Was Never This Good. Umm... you wanna come over?
←Rate | 08-09-2010 00:50 Comments (0)  


   messageicon mother nature... turning february into white history month...
←Rate | 02-12-2014 09:26 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Whenever my children question my knowledge on any subject, I just remind them that their mother is older than the Internet.
←Rate | 04-25-2013 21:11 by Maureen Comments (0)  


   messageicon I am still sitting here completely in Awe of how Samuel L Jackson is going to be portraying Martin Luther King, Jr. I can picture it now, "I had a dream mother f*cker!"
←Rate | 04-16-2011 13:11 by Mr. Gasparilla Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know you're a mother when you hide in the bathroom to be alone!
←Rate | 09-15-2010 00:57 by gb Comments (0)  


   messageicon A pregnant Khadarshian is the last thing the world need right now, let alone pregnant by Kanye West. Reminds me of that reproducing mother Alien in he Aliens movie.
←Rate | 12-31-2012 03:20 Comments (0)  


   messageicon That feeling when your ex reappears as a single mother with a child, and you immediately start doing the math.
←Rate | 05-24-2011 09:27 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I place a call that is being recorded for quality assurance and training purposes, I make sure to say mother%#&@er alot.
←Rate | 04-05-2011 15:41 by Ducky Comments (0)  


   messageicon I have 2 missed calls from my mother. I think it's safe to say that by now there's a rescue team out there looking for me.
←Rate | 01-21-2012 14:42 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My mother sent me a private message on fb, telling me that I shouldn't post things that some people might find offensive. after much soul searching I had to do the right thing, so I unfriended her !
←Rate | 06-14-2010 17:16 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My mother-in-law's coming,,,,, I had to clear out half my closet so she has a place to hang upside down and sleep
←Rate | 08-09-2012 18:24 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon My friend came over and left his laptop on the floor. My mother thought it was a scale. Conclusion: My mother weighs 950 dollars.
←Rate | 03-26-2012 13:15 by Marshall the Great Comments (2)  


   messageicon you know you're getting old when you see a beautiful 19 year old girl and wonder what her mother looks like.
←Rate | 04-16-2010 16:58 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Respect for women, starts with your mother
←Rate | 09-22-2012 16:38 by Jackoo Comments (0)  


   messageicon Upon stubbing my toe while at my parents house, I yelled out "Mother Fucker!" at that my dad responded "Present!"... as gross as that was, I had to high five him.
←Rate | 04-14-2010 16:06 Comments (1)  


   messageicon A woman is quick to reject a man that lives with his mother, but will accept a man that lives with his wife.
←Rate | 09-09-2013 13:28 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just Overheard on BlackOps online;Guy 1: YOUR MOTHER SHOULD HAVE HAD AN ABORTION!!!! Guy 2: I know I Hate my sister!
←Rate | 12-05-2010 05:00 by Rachael Comments (0)  


   messageicon Please give your Mother's an Extra Big Hug tomorrow for those who can no longer hug theirs here on earth... Cherish the Moment.
←Rate | 05-08-2010 19:26 by justme Comments (0)  




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