Mom or Mother Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon I am still sitting here completely in Awe of how Samuel L Jackson is going to be portraying Martin Luther King, Jr. I can picture it now, "I had a dream mother f*cker!"
←Rate | 04-16-2011 13:11 by Mr. Gasparilla Comments (0)  

   messageicon A pregnant Khadarshian is the last thing the world need right now, let alone pregnant by Kanye West. Reminds me of that reproducing mother Alien in he Aliens movie.
←Rate | 12-31-2012 03:20 Comments (0)  

   messageicon You know you're a mother when you hide in the bathroom to be alone!
←Rate | 09-15-2010 00:57 by gb Comments (0)  

   messageicon The only good thing about having your mother as a FB friend is that no matter how bad your status update bombs in your attempt to be funny, you can always count on her to "like' it
←Rate | 12-20-2010 19:09 Comments (0)  

   messageicon That feeling when your ex reappears as a single mother with a child, and you immediately start doing the math.
←Rate | 05-24-2011 09:27 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  

   messageicon 2 dyslexics run into a bank and shout "air in the hands mother stickers this is a f**k up
←Rate | 12-22-2009 16:51 by Mduduzi Gama Comments (0)  

   messageicon I have 2 missed calls from my mother. I think it's safe to say that by now there's a rescue team out there looking for me.
←Rate | 01-21-2012 14:42 Comments (0)  

   messageicon My mother sent me a private message on fb, telling me that I shouldn't post things that some people might find offensive. after much soul searching I had to do the right thing, so I unfriended her !
←Rate | 06-14-2010 17:16 Comments (0)  

   messageicon mother nature... turning february into white history month...
←Rate | 02-12-2014 09:26 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Respect for women, starts with your mother
←Rate | 09-22-2012 16:38 by Jackoo Comments (0)  

   messageicon Chill, single moms. You don't see us single dads celebrating mother's day!
←Rate | 06-16-2013 09:39 Comments (0)  

   messageicon ...little boy writes to Santa: please send me a sister. Santa writes to little boy: ok, send me your mother.
←Rate | 10-26-2010 11:30 by mickeybruce Comments (2)  

   messageicon This is the only comment you should be leaving on porn sites: "Why are you doing this? Please come home. Your mother and I are heartbroken."
←Rate | 12-10-2013 01:15 by StonerDudee Comments (4)  

   messageicon Shut up, you'll never be the man your mother is
←Rate | 11-15-2010 19:16 by Esoteric Comments (0)  

   messageicon can officially call myself a man today, made cupcakes on my own without the help of mother!
←Rate | 08-17-2010 20:17 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Your mother nodding solemnly on Antiques Roadshow as the appraiser explains that the ashtray you made for her in 1st grade is absolute crap...
←Rate | 11-16-2012 20:04 by snotty Comments (0)  

   messageicon A woman is quick to reject a man that lives with his mother, but will accept a man that lives with his wife.
←Rate | 09-09-2013 13:28 Comments (0)  

   messageicon To all the Mothers and Grandmothers out there, whether here on Earth or an Angel in Heaven: Thank you for teaching us all we know. Being a mother is not easy.
←Rate | 05-07-2011 21:44 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Definition of mixed emotions: seeing your mother-in-law go over a cliff in your brand new Porsche.
←Rate | 03-03-2010 12:48 by Lemonpillow Comments (3)  

   messageicon Upon stubbing my toe while at my parents house, I yelled out "Mother Fucker!" at that my dad responded "Present!"... as gross as that was, I had to high five him.
←Rate | 04-14-2010 16:06 Comments (1)  

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