Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon annoying you with status updates for her own entertainment.
←Rate | 10-09-2010 20:02 Comments (0)  


   messageicon woke up really really really early today just to post on facebook "i've beaten my alarmclock today"
←Rate | 10-10-2010 01:55 Comments (0)  


   messageicon n't it ironic that to be popular on social networks, you have to sacrifice your social life.
←Rate | 01-10-2011 23:27 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Every once in a while you should get a check up...on who your real friends are.
←Rate | 04-13-2010 13:31 Comments (0)  


   messageicon This day needs more yesterday...
←Rate | 06-28-2010 21:16 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Loves the smell of gun powder, thank you Chinese people..
←Rate | 07-02-2010 00:23 by Wolf Comments (0)  


   messageicon Guys with phone holsters surely would have been gunned down quickly in the old west.
←Rate | 07-09-2010 08:41 by Leeferd Comments (0)  


   messageicon When going through airport customs and you are asked "Do you have any firearms with you?" do not reply "why, what do you need?"
←Rate | 07-22-2010 22:16 by Status Stalker Comments (0)  


   messageicon There are 3 kinds of people in the world. One is the solution to the problem, one is the problem, while the other is wondering what was the problem???
←Rate | 07-23-2010 00:32 by Corey C Comments (0)  


   messageicon You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything productive for the rest of the day.
←Rate | 08-03-2010 13:33 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Go ahead 'like' my day!
←Rate | 08-12-2010 00:58 by Cindy Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't have A.D.D.. you're just boring me.
←Rate | 08-12-2010 23:22 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I feel like my co-workers are family. I don't like spending time with my family either.
←Rate | 08-15-2010 12:13 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dead fish washed onto "Jersey Shore" cast's beach. The slimy, oft-horizontal twitching creatures say they feel bad for the fish....
←Rate | 08-16-2010 15:15 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon When is it considered to early to start drinking...cause I think I'm 4 hrs behind!!!
←Rate | 03-31-2011 12:32 Comments (0)  


   messageicon When someone asks a dumb question it's really hard to not reply with a sarcastic answer
←Rate | 04-04-2011 23:55 by Destiny Comments (0)  


   messageicon I saw this wino, he was eating grapes. I was like, "Dude, you have to wait."---Hedberg Classic :)
←Rate | 02-01-2011 10:42 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Life's best lessons are learned at the worst times.
←Rate | 03-03-2011 18:03 by abbybaby34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If You Use Pinesol in A Pine Forest Is It Unscented?
←Rate | 09-21-2011 18:05 by p0lel0ck Comments (0)  


   messageicon My idea of artificial intelligence is where the Porn tab changes into the Google tab the moment someone knocks on the door
←Rate | 09-26-2011 07:15 Comments (0)  




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