love Funny Status Messages

   I wish I loved anything as much as people in yogurt commercials love eating yogurt.

   My buddy introduced me to the girl he's been dating for two weeks and referred to her as "the love of my life." Now I'm struggling to figure out why we were ever friends in the first place.

   I love your enthusiasm, so I’m going to loosen your restraints.

   I love them all.....Fake (+)(+) , Perfect (o)(o), Perky (*)(*), Cold (^)(^) and even Grandma's \o/ \o/ Big ( • )( • ) or small (.) (.) save them all. REPOST for Breast Cancer Awareness.

   The gym was so crowded today I had to skip my workout. Fortunately the line at Dunkin Donuts was shorter than usual. I love New Year's resolutions...

   When the I in "I love you" becomes more important than the "you," the word in the middle just fades away.

   I love how people say they're "expecting" a baby, as though it might be something else, like a penguin or a lawnmower.

   Hey,, adorable couples who constantly profess your love for each other via my news feed,,, learn how to text.

   HEY,,, I remember when they had Child Protective Services when I was a kid... And her name was Grandma... Love you Gram !

   I love that sound you make when you shut the hell up.

   Love doesn’t walk away, people do.

   Wife says to husband: "u make love like you decorate." Husband: "How, very slow and like a professional?" Wife:" Nope, I always have to finish the job myself."

   Fact: the domestic Cat remains the only species that's trained humans to clean up poop in exchange for conditional love.

   A guy hears his wife's voice from the kitchen, "What would you like for dinner my love? chicken, beef or lamb?" He said, "Thank you, I'll have chicken." she yells back, "You're having soup you jerk! I was talking to the cat!"

   The only person I'd ever take love advice from is that French candlestick from Beauty and the Beast.

   I wish I loved anything as much as rappers love female dogs and gardening tools.

   I'm seeing alot of couple getting joint facebook accounts and call them for example "JohnandJaneDoe". Ah, nothing says love like I don't trust you to have your own facbeook page. So, lets get one together so we can keep tabs on each other Dear.

   If you LOVE something, set it free.. If it comes back to you,,,,you love a boomerang

   You sure do seem to know a lot about love and relationships for someone who spends 22 hours a day on Facebook.

   Me and my bed are in a committed relationship, I think my alarm clock is just jealous of our love.