santa AND presents AND christmas AND xmas AND holidays AND elfs Funny Status Messages

   Happy Hallogivemas!!!!!! It's the time of year when the stores sell Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas stuff all on ONE aisle!

   Do car companies REALLY think it's possible that a spouse is secretly able to obtain financing, purchase a car, have it wrapped in a bow, and delivered on Christmas Eve?

   WTH!!! It's 2 days until Christmas and none of stores have their Valentine's Day stuff displayed.

   The average age of the viewing audience of "A Charlie Brown Christmas" is probably 35-45 years old.

   I just got my wifes Christmas gift. I hid it in the oven. She will never find it there!

   Special merry xmas to all the essential personnel that have to work this holiday season i.e. doctors nurses cops..fire men 7-11 employees ..!!

   The liquor store clerk just wished me a merry Christmas as if she weren't going to see me 7 more times before then.

   It only took 6 drinks but I'm starting to feel the Christmas spirit.

   If Santa's helper takes a picture in the mirror, is that an elfie?

   Thinking about celebrating Christmas a week after Christmas for now on. Then I will be able to buy the same gifts at 60% off!

   showed my son the switch that makes the fridge light go off when the door closes. He looked at me like I'd just shot Santa in the nuts.

   You may remember me from such events as ruining Christmas dinner.

   trying to get in the Christmas spirit, but I can't get the damn bottle opened.

   This Christmas, if you plan on jingling, please jingle ALL the way. Nobody likes or respects a half ass jingler.

   It"s ok to pretend you're Irish on St. Patrick's Day. You pretend you're good on Christmas, don't you?

   Dear Santa: This year instead of a gift wish list, I'm sending a list of people I would like to see disappear. Thank you.

   I wasn't planning on giving Christmas gifts this year until I heard about those exploding Samsung Galaxy phones.

   Merry Christmas everyone and Happy Birthday Jesus without a Facebook reminder.

   Any of my friends who believe the "Mayan's Prediction" please let me know as soon as possible. Your opinion will only be based on this years Christmas gifts. Thanks :)

   if I tell Santa what I want for Christmas, then I will definately be on the naughty list...