life Funny Status Messages

   May the millions of lights that shine today light up your life with endless prosperity, good fortune and joy. Sending you and your family warmest wishes for a wonderful and happy Diwali, from India

   Twitter makes me love people I've never met and Facebook makes me hate people I know in real life.

   Before you get married ask yourself: is this the person you want to watch stare at their phone the rest of your life?

   Define birthday :-the only day in your life.....when your mother smiled when you cried.

   I wish cats came with a counter that told you what life they were on. Number 8 kitty? Maybe you need to work on that attitude.

   Life makes you wise and Bud makes you weiser.

   Find someone who will change your life, not just your damn relationship status.

   believes in "Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Anyone Who Threatens It" - quoting a military scholar

   I drink a shot of whiskey a day as a toast to the great life I've lived. I finish the bottle for other reasons.

   Life is like a camera. Just focus on what's important. Capture the good times. Develop from the negatives. And if things don't turn out, just take another shot.

   Some things are meant to be just once in a life time. -Sincerely, One Night Stand

   been spendin' most his life livin' in a gangsta paradise...

   Does a coffin come with a life time guarantee?

   Life is all about ass; you're either covering it, laughing it off, kicking it, kissing it, busting it, trying to get a piece of it, or behaving like one.

   Some people live one life and Facebook another.

   I spend 500% of my life exaggerating!

   If I got poked in real life as much as I get poked on Facebook, I'd be one happy woman and would never leave my room!!

   What is it with the absent reference status messages. When people say things like "I can't believe you would do that" or anything with "You know who you are." We don't and frankly, we don't care. It's just you posting your drama filled life up to generate

   "The greatest ironies of life: having the right person at the wrong time, having the wrong person when the time is right, and finding out that you love someone after that person walks out of your sight ...."

   U have 10 fish, 5 drown, 3 come back to life. How many fish do you have? Stop counting smart one Fish cant Drown.