santa AND presents AND christmas AND xmas AND holidays AND elfs Funny Status Messages

   I bet Jesus hates it that his birthday and Christmas are on the same day.

   its your birthday too today? well this is for christmas AND your bday !

   Dear Santa, when your done writing the naughty list, can I get my lil black book back? Cheers Guv

   One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Clause, "Please send me a sister." Santa Clause wrote him back, "OK, send me your mother.

   Dear Santa, All I want for Christmas is SethMacFarlane and his Evil Genius.....and an Occupy Wall St. Family Guy!

   Merry Drunk I'm Christmas

   I was driving around today and the sun was out and the snow is melting so I think it's time to take your Christmas decorations down now.

   I just got a copy of Santa's naughty list and it is almost identical to my frields list.

   My parents accused me of being a liar today! All I said was ''Santa Claus'' ''Easter Bunny'' '' Tooth Fairy'' and walked away. Shut them Up!!!

   Tiger Kings, Joe Exotic will never sing Christmas songs cause he hates carols.

   Dear Santa, Define Good. Love X

   Jesus is the adult version of Santa Claus. #TRUTH

   just called 911. To report a fat white guy in a red suit just broke in to my home and snatched up a plate of cookies. Hey fatty you left your presents. We got your finger prints and we be looking for you. You so dumb.

   Dear Santa, yea I was naughty this year ..and it was worth it, you fat, judgmental b*stard!

   Supreme Court rules no Nativity scene in DC!!! The Supreme Court has ruled that there cannot be a Nativity Scene in the United States Capital this Christmas season.

   went into a elementary school and told the kids santa isnt real

   I haven't received one single greetings card from an Ethiopian . . . . . Do they know its Christmas???

   If you know anyone home alone for Christmas let me know! I need to borrow their chairs...

   Today’s the start of the “Christmas hangover.” The holidays are over and everyone is getting their credit card bills. I just got mine and I can’t believe I spent that much on the Thigh Master.

   With all the Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas iteam for sale at the sametime in the stores they should call it Hallogivemas sale.