santa AND presents AND christmas AND xmas AND holidays AND elfs Funny Status Messages

   Thank You Santa for helping make Christianity less believable than it already was

   “Here comes Santa Claus, here comes Santa Claus, all over Mrs. Claus's face and hair..."

   Last year I asked Santa to bring me the sexiest person . He sends me a note today "She is your Facebook friend_ you have her already" !

   Christmas; Another day of choreographed kindness and fake concern.

   May you have the gladness of Christmas which is hope; The spirit of Christmas which is peace; The heart of Christmas which is love.

   Ah, Easter. That lovely time of year that reminds you to take down the Christmas decorations.

   Last year I asked santa for the sexiest person ever and I woke up in a box

   I want to see if I can make it 2 full days before Santa puts me back on the "bad boys" list again this year, where I belong. So I'm going to wait til tomorrow before I go back to my normal status updates.

   My neighbors tree fell during the storm last night. Ufortunately for them they will now need to take off their Christmas lights!

   Dear Santa, Please define good.

   Today's date officially marks the twelfth day of Christmas....So, except for the Nine Ladies Dancing, Eight Maids-a-Milking and the Five Golden Rings...it's all going back to Wal Mart. Especially that squawking, annoying, Partridge in a Pear Tree.

   Hah! Got my inflatable Santa Jesus up before you this year, Henderson. SUCK IT, CHRISTMAS LOSER!!!

   Dear Santa, To be safe I'll be staying home for Christmas, so please just drop my presents on my porch and don't bother coming down the chimney. Thanks!

   Any movie can be a Christmas movie if you eat 37 sugar cookies while watching.

   Twas the morning before Christmas & all across Facebook, friends awake, houses aglitter. Coffee in hand pondering this day & the things that matter.....

   [first date] her: so, tell me about yourself! me: well, I'm not good with dates her: but you're doing fine! me: christmas is on september 3rd

   Once again this year, Family planning experts are now recommending giving men vasectomy gift cards for the holidays. Talk about taking the jingle out of the bells.

   MERRY XMAS EVERYONE (Yes I know it's a bit early, but I thought I'd start with you miserable and argumentative plebs first!)

   Wanna play "Santa"? I let you sit on my lap and tell me what you want. I pretend to listen, call you a ho ho ho, stuff your stocking and you swallow some egg nog.

   Why no one ever pick Santa, or elves, or reindeers as a school's mascot? "Let's go Santa, Let's GO!"