santa AND presents AND christmas AND xmas AND holidays AND elfs Funny Status Messages

   Amazing,,, that all the xmas gifts I bought today were made in china ,,like what are the odds on that ..!!!

   You might as well do your Christmas hinting early...

   Santa: If you ignore my actions during weekends (& sometimes the workday) and all the Vicodin I took, you'll see that 6 out of 12 months, I was a good boy, which makes me 50% good. It's up to you- see the glass half empty or half full. Do the right thing!

   Sarah Palin's new Christmas book is her attempt at valuing the sanctity Christmas so she can sell books and make money just like baby Jesus.

   I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays

   It's all fun and games. . . Until Santa checks the naughty list.

   My favourite Christmas song is the one about baby Jesus passing gas. Forgot what it's called but the main chorus is "Do you hear what I hear?"

   was surprised to find a Christmas present from last year while getting the decorations out. The kids were all excited as I opened the box. What a pity it was a dead puppy

   loves how Christmas movies capture the holidays in a way everyone typically experiences. In two hours: greedy men become charitable; enemies settle their differences; women fall in love with the unattractive nerd; and an angel get its wings.

   I found a sealed turkey sandwich, ranch dressing and gatorade in my car. Santa must of mixed my car up with my stocking.

   Here's a list of my favourite xmas carols.

   Shout Out to the Kids in the Projects that left some Milk & Cookies out for Santa but the Roaches got 2 it first.

   Can someone please go to MeWe and Parlor and wish them a Merry Christmas.

   my mature level IS , I still giggle when singing about nuts in christmas carols

   A stupid, ridiculous, sappy, eye-rolling Hallmark commercial just made me tear up...the holidays are officially here.

   parents are hypocritical.....your not supposed to take candy or food from strangers but what do they let you do every Halloween? not supposed to talk to strangers but every christmas they sit you on santa's lap so you can talk to him.

   Bad News: On a test run last night, Santa was sucked into the engine of a Russian military jet & turned into red mist.

   Happy Hoildays Schmolidays. Merry Christmas Schmistmas. I lean towards the Christmas greeting, but I gotta be honest with myself. I don't care. I'm mainly in it for the food.

   Only 40 days till Christmas... you know what that means? 41 days till I jump back in the dating pool!!

   it's that time of the year to again remind all the douchebags that think Xmas is a word that they are all going to Hell...