life Funny Status Messages

   Games will be played, lies will be told, hearts and promises will be broken, feelings will be hurt, tears will fall, people will change, trust will be betrayed, and rumors will spread. But through it all, life will always go on.

   I used to have no life. Now I have a laptop and Facebook!

   For every cigarette you smoke God takes away 1 year of your life and gives it to Hugh Hefner.

   -- People often offer me incentives to quit smoking such as ......"Think of all the money you'd save".........Surely that'd just be the money i'd need to survive my longer life ?...

   Hey kids, know what's harder than graduating from college? Busting your a$$ for $hit wages the rest of your life...

   The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.

   No Facebook, I don't want to have you as my home page. I actually have a life -_-

   Two rules of success in life: 1. Always have some secrets. 2.

   A Virginia woman on Tuesday graduated high school at the age of 111. She’s the first person to graduate high school and have her whole life behind her.

   Be good to yourself because the longest relationship you will ever have in life is with yourself.

   beginning to feel like every day of my life is like an open tryout for a wacky new reality television show.

   Of all the lies I've told in my life, "just kidding" is probably my favorite..

   People only speak about your life because their own lives are nothing to speak of.

   It would be so cool if I could see what my life would be like if I had made different decisions.

   I'm so exhausted from my French self-defense course.... :/ I've never had to run this fast, so far in all my life!

   Last night while having pasta, the lid to the parmesan cheese came off and way too much parmesan cheese spilled onto the plate. I learned an invaluable life lesson from this experience. There is no such thing as "way too much parmesan cheese".

   Unsubscribing to emails requires three or more clicks,, So I'm just going to keep deleting them for the rest of my life.

   My life is proof that you can party as a profession.

   Never entrust your life to a surgeon who has more than two band -aids on his fingers

   Don't fall in love, learn how to ruin your life all by yourself.