Funny Status Messages
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Adolescences does n't work to much after high school 
today is fat tuesday....basically lets women feel okay about themselves and their fupa:D
usually I take asprin, but for a hangover...its ass-prin
c'mon the shopping was'nt that bad at the Eaton Center
I tie up all my victims in forget me knots.
Someone uploaded a picture of Hitler and said, "LIKE IF YOU WISH HE WAS DEAD!".. uhmm..dont really know what to think...??
remembering all those flashbacks from before
The only thing worse than a broken heart is a heart that has never known love.
If at first you dont succeed skydiving isnt for you
May the wind always be at your back and the sun upon your face. And may the wings of destiny carry you aloft to dance with the stars. - george jung
People always talked about how fast technology advances. Has anyone ever thought, with this election coming up and all that is going on. We should be advanced enough to flea the planet?
My 2 boys are so energetic so I asked them when is the best time to setup the trampoline. One of them replied"Spring-time".
So I guess once you go black you can't go back...you have to go orange.
Damn girl, are we in a bad western? 'Cause I wanna have an hour long showdown with you that would only take 5 minutes in real life.
Below is a great example of Limey humor and why it's relegated to only PBS stations here in the states.
Don't throw away your fidget spinners. Fidget spinners won't kill you. The only thing fidget spinners kill is time.
New breakfast cereal called Prosatooties. They don't snap crackle or pop. They just in the bowl and smile at you.
Gas is $2.20 I dont know when the last time I pumped gas with no hands
"Can I get a coke please?" "Nope is pepsi ok" "Do you do updog?" "What's updog?" " Not much...and no pepsi is not ok".
Enjoy poverty, Daniel Pantaleo. Hahahahaha, I don't feel bad for you one bit! 