life Funny Status Messages

   Sorry, I meant to, but life happened.

   Life is just a long, sick game of "Would you rather."

   Sometimes I look at my FB feed and think "If you spent less time b!tching about your life, you might actually enjoy it."

   The biggest trick life plays on us, is the inability to fully appreciate something until it's gone. Except for broccoli.

   I'm so blessed not to have you in my life.

   Ghetto people are always naming their kids after stuff they cant afford: Mercedes, Bentley, Pearl, Life Insurance.

   I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.

   Life isn't about net worth. It's about self worth.

   wondering why people think bartenders care about your misrable life. We dont! Now leave some cash and be on your way!

   You should like yourself because that is the only person you have to spend the rest of your life with.

   coffee: The gasoline of life...

   Does anyone know where I can get a new lease on life? The one I have isn't working out.

   Whenever you feel like a genius, remember there was a time in your life when you were learning to not crap your pants.

   Relax........Let's get back to the important things in life! Like stealing eachothers status!

   Life will be good when I wake at this hour, yawn, stretch, find the cold spot on my pillow and go back to sleep because I'm retired and rich from lottery winnings.

   One day you're gonna ask me whose life is more important? Yours or mine, I will say mine and you'll walk away never knowing you are my life.

   Life gave me onions.... onionade sucks.

   Life is a fill-in-the-blank choose your own adventure scratch & sniff coloring book with missing pages and pop-ups.

   If it wasn't for me, my life would be pretty awesome.

   biggest reality of life - DEATH