Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Breaking news!! Biden overheard telling Dr Jill, that Executive Orders were like Lay's potato chips. He stated "They're so good, no one, can sign just one".

   Pro Tip: Always put your keys away in the last place you’d look, then look there first.

   For one who thinks they're never wrong. I bet his school teachers found him to be a "real pleasure" to have him as one of their students.

   Clown Lives Matter

   I think what America really wants from the Trump clan is a pillow fight between Tiffany and Ivanka, or maybe a round of jello wrestling.

   KellyAnne Conway looks tired and flustered every day!

   If anyone from Chile ever asks me to play hide-n-seek, I am going to hide first cause those guys are good!

   Let's start a post that will be positive . . . . What is on your Christmas wish list?? (in the real world, of course we'd all like more money, etc....)

   just risked a car accident to type this...

   Paul Newman's half-Jewish, Goldie Hawn's half too, put them together, what a fine looking Jew

   We have Gandhi - India...beat that...Oh wait... he believed in non-violence

   I bet the vampires goes crazy when Bella is ragging....

   "Jesus loves you." It's so nice to hear that said to oneself in church!! ... "Jesus loves you." A horrific thing to hear in a Mexican prison!!

   President Obama's new campaign promise: " In my first term, I sang Al Green. In my second term, I'm going with Young Jeezy."

   It sucks to live in the shadow of your older brother or sister. Imagine if Jesus Christ had a little brother or sister. How do you live up to THAT?

   ever notice how a newborn is like a pothead..."whoa, look at my hand...it has fingers"

   I like big butts, but unfortunately I do lie. So really, I dont like big butts...Or do I? You'll never know.

   Math questions are so freaking stupid! Like for example “If I had 30 chocolate bars and I eat 29, what do I have?” Hmmm…. I dunno… Diabetes maybe???

   So let me get this straight....a giant bunny rises from the dead, commits a bunch of sins, then we eat a pig?

   Even if I had 1 wish.. I wouldnt wish for you 2 Love me, Cuz I dont want your Love to come from a wish.. But straight from your Heart ♥